A Quote by Conan O'Brien
Analysts say Obama's new immigration plan will focus on deporting violent criminals. So, this could impact your fantasy football team.
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Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.
Obama wants to raise the issue of immigration reform so that he can demonize Republicans as anti-Hispanic. That's why Obama ignores the broad support for an immigration plan that would provide border security once and for all and then deal with the illegal immigrants who live here.
Immigration. There's two plans on the table. Hillary and I believe in comprehensive immigration reform. Donald Trump believes in deportation nation. You've got to pick your choice. Hillary and I want a bipartisan reform that will put keeping families together as the top goal, second, that will help focus enforcement efforts on those who are violent, third, that will do more border control, and, fourth, that will provide a path to citizenship for those who work hard, pay taxes, play by the rules, and take criminal background record checks.
Nothing is a violent as football and I bet you like. Just say you don't like it, or can't identify, don't come up with excuses like "It's too violent" while you wear some team's NFL jersey.
We`re focused on physically securing the border. We`re focus on those who are coming to do us harm from terrorist states and things like that. That is our focus, and it`s on criminal aliens, people who are violent criminals who have not been deported.
We have gone for decades now with no immigration plan. Now we have one. It's a common sense immigration plan that has proven to work. It's the same one in Canada, same thing in New Zealand and Australia. One aspect of the plan is merit-based entry into the country. You get in based on merit. It's a point system. You get in on your ability to speak English, and you get in on your ability to hold a job and work a job and produce an income.
That's right. Obama didn't lie to you when he said, 'if you like your plan, you can keep it.' Why? Because, you sillies, you DIDN'T REALLY like the plan you chose for yourselves! No arguing. Barack Obama knows best, and he'll tell you whether you actually liked your insurance plan or not.
I played one year of fantasy football in high school. You really get into it. It makes more fans of the NFL, and people love talking about it. They'll come up to me and say, 'Why did you throw an interception? You ruined my fantasy team!' Or they're happy because they got you for a bargain.
New rule: Stop calling it Obamacare. It's not like Obama will be the doctor for
your next prostate exam. That's just a common fantasy of Republican men.
My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Your plan is not as important as your culture. That means you will run into problems that will disrupt your plan and schedule, and how you deal with that depends on the culture you have created within your team.
I merely dared to say Tebow could be a successful starting quarterback in the National Football League - not a Pro Bowler, mind you, just a guy who could win games his way. Which prompted relentless attacks from anti-Tebow analysts and journalists.
No other country ties its hands in deporting foreign criminals as Britain does.
There's some criminals that wear badges. Guess what? There's some criminals that work in the media. There's some criminals that are football coaches. There's some criminals that are politicians. There are criminals that work in churches.
I think I did a good job of compartmentalizing my life. It's crazy to say it, but even if football was this dangerous thing, it was a place where I could focus all my energy. I'm sure it's not the healthiest thing to direct stress from football into football, but that's basically what I did.
Since fantasy isn't about technology, the accelleration has no impact at all. But it's changed the lives of fantasy writers and editors. I get to live in England and work for a New York publisher!
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