A Quote by Cornelia Parker
When I was a kid, my mother used to say, 'You always want to be different.' I couldn't work out what she meant. I was just trying to be myself.
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The 'Mother of God' stuff comes from my dad who used to use that all the time. He would say, 'Mother of God' all the time. He used to just say 'Mother' and we know what he meant.
It was hard when my mother left us. I said to myself: 'You must keep working hard for her.' She was a teacher, a big influence. She made me work harder. So when I'm not doing something right or when I'm not playing or working hard enough, I remember what she used to say to me. She gets me moving. She pushed me to work hard.
My mam worked for 41 years. She was a single working mother. I think I always had that mentality of you can do everything. You can have your kid. You can be a good mother. You can work. She was very independent.
I didn't really like my birthday as a kid. My mother used to say, "Sometimes we'd have a birthday party and you would just wander off." But she said it was just my way in the world. It wasn't anything that I was truly interested in.
God bless my mother - she's long gone now, but she'd work all day and go to school at night. She started out in life as a housekeeper at 15 years old, totally on her own, and she retired as a college professor. But there were some hard times. It's not easy for a woman who's only trying to do the best for her kid but who could never be home.
When I finally began to publish, my father never read my work. He'd say, 'Oh, that's your mother's sort of thing.' But my mother found the books rather upsetting. I figure she read just enough to know that she didn't want to go there.
As your mother tells you, and my mother certainly told me, it is important, she always used to say, always to try new things.
"I hate you." My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me.She really did. "I love you," was all I could say in return. "You're a freak, you know that? Everyone says so. They always have." "I'm trying not to be.” Then, I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.
My mother gave me singing lessons; that was totally painful, because I couldn't do what she wanted to hear. She used to say: there's more there, there's more voice but I just didn't want to give it to her.
If my mom came here today, she'd probably join this red-hat brigade. My mother got my sense of humor, even when I was a kid. I would just do things that tickled my fancy in the moment, and she would ask me who I was entertaining. I'd say, 'Well, me.' And she would tell me that nobody knew that and they thought I was psychotic. Well, I don't ever want people to think I'm psychotic, but I can't help myself from doing these things.
My father passed away when I was two, and my mother was just 22-years-old back then. So young and only soul to take care of three brats. We were highly in debt and our financial condition was really bad. My mother used to work in a factory, and she used to complete the pending work at home.
I started off just trying to make a wish list for myself. I wanted to work with people I really admire myself. I wanted to work with other artists from other scenes so they could make my songs improve in a different way - people who have artistically different things to say.
My mother wanted to be a mother. That's the only thing she wanted from the bottom of her heart. She didn't want to be the number one actress - which she was - and she didn't want to be this great legend. All she wanted to be was a mother and she did but God took her away. So I always will empathise and sympathise with women.
I would say where I feel like I'm struggling the most in learning and giving myself permission to fail is in finding the balance in life. There are different aspects to women: there's the mother, there's the working woman, there's the wife, the friend, the sister, the daughter and so just figuring that all out. I continue to want to try new things and give myself permission to not be great at it.
I just feel very grateful to be a part of that, to be a part of a winning team... I'm trying hard not to be used to it, but I am kind of. It is something where I've run out of people that I want to work with because I've worked with everybody I ever wanted to. I really have. I can't think of anyone I'd want to work with right now because I'd just want to work with the same people again.
I had a mother who was very emotionally demanding, wanting to be the centre of attention. As they say in EastEnders, she thought it was all about 'er. I spent a lot of time trying to work out what was going on.
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