A Quote by Craig Kilborn

Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?

Craig Kilborn

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Alert Anybody Chief Does Duct Tape Homeland Homeland Security Miles Need Orange Ridge Security Tape Terror Today Tom Yellow

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Craig Kilborn
American - Entertainer
Born: August 24, 1962

Public service announcement: In case of a terrorist attack, bottled water and duct tape are not going to do a damn thing. So do what Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge does: Get really drunk, and pick up a hooker.

David Letterman

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge made that critical leap from 'be afraid' to 'be very afraid,' raising the terrorist threat level to orange for financial sectors in New York, Washington, D.C., and northern New Jersey. ... Ridge's announcement comes amidst reports he will step down as head of homeland security after the election. Ridge himself has refused to comment on the story, though colleagues say he has often expressed a desire to spend more time at home, scaring his family.

Jon Stewart

We are in a code orange. Homeland Security said earlier today that everyone should have a roll of duct tape and plastic sheeting to protect your house in event of terrorist attacks. Who came up with this idea? MacGyver?

Jay Leno

Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge raised security alert to a code red. Apparently Howard Dean has escaped. Did you see Dean's crazed speech the other night, yelling? I see why his wife won't campaign with him. In fact, Dean has a new slogan: 'Aaghhhh.'

Jay Leno

What's that sticky stuff called? Basta: Duct tape. Yes, duct tape. I love duct tape.

Cornelia Funke

John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president.

David Letterman

Martha Stewart is getting out of prison so today the terror alert was raised from orange to pesto.

David Letterman

Guns make you stupidbetter to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.

Jeffrey Donovan

Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.

Andy Weir

When's the last time you used duct tape on a duct?

Larry Wall

But just now, he'd gotten on his knees and proposed marriage, like in a television commercial for a diamond ring. Except of course they had the roll of duct tape instead, which, when you came to think about it, was a far more practical item. Such a bad mistake it would be, to embark on marriage and adult life without a nice supply of duct tape.

Nancy Werlin

ISIL, AQ, now have the ability to literally reach into our homeland through social media, through the Internet, to recruit and inspire. It makes for a more complicated homeland security environment. And so it requires a whole of government approach, not just military and law enforcement, homeland security, aviation security, and the like.

Jeh Johnson

When they searched my car, they said that they found a gasoline canister and I think duct tape. Who wouldn't have a gasoline canister on them when driving 3,000 miles across country?

Sherman Austin

We need to fund our troops. We need to protect them. We need to increase homeland security. These are vital national security interest we need to fund.

Kirstjen Nielsen

Last week in the Homeland Security Committee, Republicans were against port security; and today, one week after Democrats unveiled our Real Security Agenda, they're for it.

Jim Clyburn

Last week in the Homeland Security Committee, Republicans were against port security; and today, one week after Democrats unveiled our Real Security Agenda, they're for it

Jim Clyburn

A Quote by Craig Kilborn

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