A Quote by Crystal Waters
I've learned to try to sustain myself by holding on to the integrity of who I am. I'm not talking big diva. I'm quiet. I'm shy. And I became stronger when I stopped trying to be the person they wanted me to be.
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I know that I'm definitely not a big big snob, and I know that at the times that I am a diva I know I'm being a diva. It's kind of annoying to know that you are. Because it's a person I do not want to be. So I'm trying my best not to become a jerk.
It's hard to mix with a crowd when you're walking down the hallway and everybody else is a foot shorter. I remember hanging out with my friends, like at the mall, and thinking people were staring at me and talking about me. It made me turn inside myself. I became more shy and quiet.
When I was at home, I wasn't shy. I was the clown at home, because I was loved. It was in the outside world that I was judged and I wasn't loved. That was very clear to me, that I wasn't loved. So I became very quiet. You know, those little girls you see in those pictures that look like they want to hunch, I was trying to disappear into my shoulder blades. The quietest person in the classroom, that was me. But that wasn't me at home.
For me, in my auditioning career and my professional life, since I am kind of a big person and since I have a big personality, I often find myself trying to squeeze myself into boxes that are really too small for me, and it ends up not working out.
I maintain my inner beauty by trying to lead a balanced life in general. I try to eat healthy foods, but... that doesn't mean I won't treat myself now and then! I work out almost every day, which gives me more energy and helps me feel stronger. I also try to be a genuinely good person to the people around me.
I am not a diva: I am a Jones. 'Diva' is so overused. Diva, icons, the whole thing, legends... To be a diva, what is that?
Some people are just quiet - they don't need to be talking all the time and aren't extroverted, but they're not necessarily afraid to talk. I'm not really a shy person.
I find that I don't lie about the big things in life. The things that matter. And about me. While I'm talking about myself, I rarely lie: I know who I am, my level of talent, that I'm not the most versatile filmmaker, the person I am. I don't lie about myself because I don't lie to myself.
I want to be judged by who I am as a person, not by what happened to me. In fact, all the bad things have only contributed to my confidence and sense of self, because I survived them and became a better and stronger person.
I'm not the coolest person in the world. I'm not the sexiest Diva or the strongest Diva. I know who I am. I'm not the most popular person, and I'm kind of dorky, and I'm someone you can see at your school or as your neighbor, and I think people like that.
I don't see anybody categorized as a 'fashion diva,' except for me! And I like that. I am thought of as a diva because I wear an evening dress and I take care of my look when I go out. I go to parties regarding business, not for fun. And that's why they call me a 'diva.'
The passion has never left me. I live as two people - myself, Dan Fante, and Bruno Dante or Mickey Di Salvo, or whoever I say I am in one of my books. I can tap that Bruno character any time I need to. He lives inside me like a quiet, simmering pool of magma. Years ago I stopped feeding him with booze and he was kind enough to stop trying to kill me. That's our truce.
I'm not shy. I'm quiet. With my close friends. I talk a lot. But if I'm at a big dinner, I'm not gonna walk in and go introduce myself to everybody.
I do feel kind of like I have a split identity in that there's Van Jones, who has this big public role and tries to inspire millions of people to do new stuff together. And then there's just me: a pretty quiet, shy, retiring person.
I have always despised people who thought they were better than others, and I made a promise to myself that I'd never turn into that kind of person. My family also helps to keep me grounded. Whenever I get a 'diva moment,' as they like to call it, they let me know it and say, 'Stop acting like a diva!' They're pretty good at it, too.
Steadfastness, that is holding on; patience, that is holding back; expectancy, that is holding the face up; obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do; listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.
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