A Quote by Dane Cook
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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Whenever you get a bunch of guys that are funny or think they’re funny, when you first meet, there’s always a lot of bits and it’s never, ever, ever funny. So basically you have to get through the awkwardness.
I think funny comes from tragedy and time. And I think that's where I get it. I'm able to take things that are serious and sad, and turn it into funny. In all honesty - this is after a lot of therapy - I think that, you know, I need love from something, and so now, I find it through performing.
It's funny, my girlfriends think that because I am married to a fashion designer, I get all these great tips and hints about great fashion, but it's not like that at all. He never tells me what to wear.
It's always great when you get a lot of people pushing themselves to do better, be better, invent better, better serve, better lead customers in new directions.
You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.
I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.
I think with girlfriends, you always want your girlfriends to make the decisions for themselves, not based on a boy, not based on anything other than, 'Is this what you want?' Is this you know what you want to do?' And that's real support to me.
But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
It's really easy to be funny. You get a lot of funny people in a room, the show is funny.
One of the things that is always difficult about a collaboration is that you don't necessarily find the same thing funny. And so the challenge becomes, how do you tell the other person that you don't think something's funny? The best collaborations tend to be when you are willing to be told that. But there's also ego involved, and so there's a lot of frustration in knowing that you're writing something, and the other person, on some level, needs to think that it's funny.
I have lots of girlfriends - all over the country! You think I'm kidding? I'm dead serious. Girlfriends everywhere.
A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
I think, as a comedian, the funniest you can be is with people you know, and [whom] you've known for years, in a pub. That's as funny as you get, and so the aim [while stand-up] is to get that funny on stage with 5,000 strangers, to get that funny in a room where people shouldn't be listening but they are.
I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.
It's a never-ending struggle, which is great. You can always get better! You can never get there. It's a journey with no arrival. And that's the beauty of it -- that you can always become better the next day. It's pretty cool to think about it in that sense. Tomorrow I will be a better player than I was today.
Men come and go - God knows they certainly have in my life - but girlfriends are for ever. I have a lot of girlfriends but only a few very, very close ones.
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