A Quote by Daniel Handler

Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you're kidding.

Daniel Handler

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Everyone Kidding Know Pretend Tell

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Daniel Handler
American - Author
Born: February 28, 1970

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

Daniel Handler

Everyone feels awkward, everyone feels uncomfortable, everyone gets older, everyone gets lonely, everyone gets sick, everyone eventually dies. You’re at the Aspen Ideas Fest, and you have these really smart, really accomplished people who pretend like they’ve somehow figured out a way to bypass the human condition. We live in this culture where there are so many things that want us to pretend that we’re not truly human.

Moby

Whenever I make a blasphemous joke, I always say that I believe in a God big enough to know that I'm just kidding. How can God not know that I'm kidding? And also, how could God be offended at a thing that he made not believing in him?

Pete Holmes

It's safe to tell a secret to one, Risky to tell it to two. To tell it to three is thoughtless folly, Everyone else will know.

Catherine Fisher

In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

Anthony Jeselnik

You're just trying on different identities, like everyone in those Shakespeare plays. And the people we pretend at, they're already in us. That's why we pretend them in the first place.

Gayle Forman

Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words?

Martin Freeman

I respect it if you're a really good DJ but you can't produce. What I hate is those who pretend to produce when they have a guy in another room doing all the work. Don't pretend. Everyone will figure it out at the end of the day.

Hardwell

I don't pretend to know anything about art. I make pictures for entertainment, and then the professors tell me what they mean.

Walt Disney

Plutarch rushes to reassure me. "Oh, no, Katniss. Not your wedding. Finnick and Annie's. All you need to do is show up and pretend to be happy for them." "That's one of the few things I won't have to pretend, Plutarch," I tell him.

Suzanne Collins

That's one of the great lies of intimacy, to pretend you know everything - you cannot. No matter how close you've been, over however many years, there remain secrets. I think we all know that - that you don't tell everybody everything.

Siri Hustvedt

When you are younger, you pretend to believe, but you are proving it to everyone and to yourself. The change comes when you know you're funny on the inside. Then you don't have to prove it to anybody else anymore. That's when you become different and that's when you evolved onto a completely different level, because you know who you are.

Carlos Mencia

If he wants to tell you, he'll tell you. End of story, Rose. Besides, you certainly keep your share of secrets too. You two have a lot in common." "Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and—oh." Okay. Maybe she had a point.

Richelle Mead

Oh, I sat by Grumpy Cat once. You know that cat everyone is obsessed with? That's pretty random. She's not allowed to be touched. Are you kidding? You can't put a cat next to me and expect me not to touch it.

Chrissy Teigen

I'm not dating Balthazar. I'm pretend dating him. Which involves some not pretend hand-holding. And maybe some not pretend kissing. But it's all actually pretend, see? I groaned. My explanations were making my head hurt already.

Claudia Gray

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.

David Cross

A Quote by Daniel Handler

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