A Quote by Daniel Simon
The downside is, if somebody doesn't like it, then it's like "oh my god, ok its really your fault."
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I think I look nicer now. It's really weird cause when you're 21 you think, "Oh God, when I'm 36, oh God, that's nearly 40, and I'll look really old and wrinkly by then". And actually I quite like the way I look. I feel OK about myself these days.
Oh, I know: If you're fat, let's not blame you, let's sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin' out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it's the tobacco company's fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let's blame the gun industry!
The very first job I did, a Barbie commercial when I was eight or nine, that was like 'Oh my God.' Because when you're watching things on TV, you think it's like a fantasy. But then to actually do it and then see yourself, it's like 'Oh my God.'
One year at the SAG Awards, somebody practically knocked me over, and it was Helen Mirren. She was like, 'Oh my God - is it really you? I'm your biggest fan.' I was like, 'Wait, aren't you supposed to be home reading Shakespeare or something?'
Are you all right?" "Oh my god! I phased!" "Are you all right?" "Are you?" "It was strange." "I can't believe I phased just then! That's never...it was totally your fault." "I like to think so, yes." "Tee hee.
The first time that somebody handed me a sheet of paper with a promo on it, it was like a 'throw up in your mouth' kind of moment. And it's not, like, their fault, you know? It's not the writers' fault. But if was my world, there would be no written promos; there'd be no scripts.
It's really weird 'cause when you're 21 you think, 'Oh God, when I'm 36, oh God, that's nearly 40, and I'll look really old and wrinkly by then.' And actually, I quite like the way I look.
At 3 years old, I was imitating and doing fun little commercials for the family. Then at 5, I knew, 'OK, this is something I really like.' At 8, I was crying in front of the mirror and my mom was like, 'Oh boy, here we go. We know what she's going to do.'
Every time I feel like I'm gaining a bit of weight, I'll eat healthily for, like, 3 days. Then I'll be like, 'Oh, I look skinny again.' Then I'll go back to eating bad, but I tell myself it's OK, I'm only 19, so I can do it while I can.
When you're 21, you think, 'Oh God, when I'm 36, oh God, that's nearly 40 and I'll look really old and wrinkly by then.' And actually, I quite like the way I look.
"I was just like a pathological liar when I was a kid. I think I just wanted to one-up somebody. Somebody would be like, 'Oh, God, my legs hurt.' I'd be like, 'Your legs hurt? I'm getting mine amputated next week.' And that's actually how my mother found out. She came to school and somebody was like, 'God, that's such a shame about Jennifer's legs.' She made me purge. I had to spill out all of my lies. I was like, 'I said that Dad drove a barge, and we were millionaires, and you were pregnant, I had to get my legs amputated, and I spayed cats and dogs on the weekends.' Now I can't lie.
When I saw Beyonce, she did a two-hour show singing and dancing - it was like my mouth just wouldn't close. I was like, 'OK, I'm drooling,' like, it's so good. Oh my God. No one's better. I'm sorry.
Women tend to immediately take responsibility if somebody messes up with both of us saying it's our fault. Men are quite happy for it to be your fault it seems like.
I remember reading Dave Barry for the first time and being like oh my God I can't believe you can do this. Watching Mel Brooks and Monty Python and SNL and all that stuff really informed me as a writer and then at high school I started a satire magazine and the college like The Lampoon really introduced me to like you know a lot of very like-minded people who really wanted to like comedy was the center of their lives.
If people are talking about your movie and they're like, 'Yeah, it was ok' - that's the last reaction I would want! I would rather people would say, 'Oh, I hated it!' or 'I loved it!' rather than 'Oh, it's ok.'
The media was, 'Oh my God, you're gay,' and I'm like yes -- I've been out my whole life to my family and friends. Everyone in the skating community knew. But just because I won the national title, it's like, 'Oh, my God, you're gay.' The judges would say, 'You have to tone down your costumes, your choreography,' and I'm like, 'No . . .' I wanted to skate for the audiences, not for the judges.
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