A Quote by Daniel Tosh

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.' — © Daniel Tosh
Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.'
I would say that during the time that I was 14 and pregnant - I didn't even know what pregnancy was when I got pregnant - I was trying to do everything I could to harm myself. I said to God, "God, if you want me to die, then you're going to have to kill me".
In the public, it seems to be painted that when minorities get pregnant, they need to get abortions, especially when it comes to teen pregnancy. It's like, when black girls are pregnant, it's like a statistic, but when white girls get pregnant, they get a TV show.
I don't think I was pregnant during 'Aradhana.' But yes, during 'Safar' and 'Choti Bahu' I was pregnant and quite unwell in the last phase of my pregnancy. Then during 'Besharam' I was pregnant with Sabaa.
We have an idea that the man should help pay for the child. But we don't have a law that says a man has to support any woman he gets pregnant. Why is that? Because she doesn't have the baby yet. But if we're going to say it's a human being, then he should be supporting her during pregnancy.
Sometimes you have to wait for the right deal. They all seem good, at least at first, and they may make you some quick money. But when the right deal comes, and it fits into your [overall] plan, it's just overwhelming success. Sometimes, with the long-term deals, you have to take a risk if you're going to get a reward. It's exactly like fighting. Sometimes you have to take chances to get that huge win.
When you do take the home pregnancy test, it doesn't quite seem real. But when you see the baby and the heartbeat on the ultrasound, it's so incredible.
Well, here's my feeling about shtick. I think sometimes if you don't have it going on too much, you're probably feeling insecure and then you want to add on the shtick. I would say, oh, like Kiss. You try to stand out from the crowd, you're going for a bold statement, you're going for a high concept.
Ooooh," Kate groans, Kate herself now. "I'm so afraid." "I know." "What am I going to do?" "You mean right now?" "Yes." "We'll go to my car. Then we'll drive down to the French Market and get some coffee. Then we'll go home." "Is everything going to be all right?" "Yes." "Tell me. Say it." "Everything is going to be all right.
I'm a little disappointed in myself because before getting pregnant, I resolved to do all these things during my pregnancy to nurse a healthy pregnancy. And so I'm finding in these final weeks that I didn't do any of them.
It seems that there's a constant humbling - I don't know if that's the right word - because things are disproved all the time with new discoveries, at least that's the way it feels sometimes in the layman's world. Like, people will make proclamations of something to be true, and then 50 years later that's proven wrong because there's something else.
I still think I'm fat. Right now I'm worrying about how I'm going to lose weight after the pregnancy. I feel like an elephant, but I do get the occasional sexy pregnant day where I think I look great.
With issues like our country's teen-age pregnancy rate, fashion's importance ranks right up there with cleaning your ears. Except right before going on television to talk about teen-age pregnancy rates, when all I can think of is what I'm going to wear.
I really wasn't well - feeling feverish then cold - so I went to the doctor to find out if I had flu and they did a blood test. I thought: 'Okay, this is it. I'm pre-menopausal.' Then Steve said: 'Are you sure you're not pregnant?'
I'm at the stage in my pregnancy where I don't feel pregnant. You feel very, 'Oh yeah, I'm pregnant,' because you're over the morning sickness and it's not too uncomfortable. It's fun.
I've had sex before with the belt on. That was back in the Ricco Rodriguez days. The night I won the belt I had a sexual experience with the belt on. But hey, I was 25 years old and it was the biggest thing that ever had happened to me in my life. The girl was like hey, are you going to take that thing off. And I said no, I'm not...I'm wearing it and if you have a problem with it, then I'm leaving. And I hate to say it, but if I do win the belt again, then this time it's never coming off. I'm going to wear it a lot more.
You’re like Marilyn Monroe,’ Ken tells me, which I take as a compliment and say a nervous “Thank You”. Interrupting, he adds, ‘You’re all velvet and Velcro. Men want you because you’re sexy and broken and when it gets too rough they can say “Hey! This toy is broken!” and toss you aside without feeling bad.
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