A Quote by Daniel Tosh

How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender. — © Daniel Tosh
How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender.
…and to all you other cats and chicks out there, sweet or otherwise, buried deep in wordy tombs, who never yet have walked from off the page, a shake and a hug and a kiss and a drink. Cheers!
People didn't know who I was or why I was there, so they started inventing stories about me. I was a registered sex offender and I'd just been released from prison and was being forced to do community-service work. I was a murderer, an arsonist - all these horrific things had been projected on me because no one knew what to make of this white guy who showed up and made toast at 5 o'clock every morning.
Everyone went out and bought Sex, it was sold out in two seconds. And then everybody slagged me off. That, to me is a statement of the hypocrisy of the world that we live in. The fact that everybody is so interested in sex but won't admit it.
All you have to do is come to Ohio and say, 'I think NAFTA is a lousy deal,' and everybody cheers.
The hardest thing about sex scenes is that everybody is a judge. I don't know the last time you murdered somebody or blew anyone's brains out, but everyone has had sex and probably this morning, which means everyone has an opinion on how it should be done.
Every shy person is a potential sex offender.
When I got to the first tee on the first day, to hear the cheers, it was like all the oxygen got sucked out. It was hard to pull the club back.
When my plans to become a world-famous rockstar didn't pan out, I decided to try being a lesbian instead, didn't pull that off either, and wrote my second book, the national bestseller, 'The Straight Girl's Guide To Sleeping With Chicks.'
I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
Sometimes I'd go [in British accent] "Uhh, brilliant! Absolutely brilliant, thank you. Wonderful. Cheers!" I do say "cheers" automatically," from living over there. I say "cheers" to everything.
I'm a bit of a slag... Some people don't think it's very nice, but I don't care... I've got hormones, and sex is there, so why not? Sex is good. Everybody does it, and everybody should!
My ideal registration system would be an opt-out one, where every single person is registered once they turn 18. In Australia, I'm told, everyone is registered to vote and you pay a fine if you don't vote.
My ideal registration system would be an opt-out one, where every single person is registered once they turn 18. In Australia, I’m told, everyone is registered to vote and you pay a fine if you don’t vote.
I don't know how men can be held to that Ohio State agreement [on having sex], policy, anyway, because everybody knows in sex men don't think with their brains.
Sex is natural, sex is good/Not everybody does it, but everybody should
The egos in this industry are incredibly vulnerable and everybody's afraid to wipe out. So everybody plays it safe and everybody tells everybody else how great they are.
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