A Quote by Danielle Dutton
Finding the form was really a very dynamic process. I went through a lot of shifting, trying to get it right. Because the writing took place over such a long time, it's hard for me to pinpoint when specific things happened, but basically the final version only materialized in the last two or so years. It was there, but it took me a while to see it and then to refine it after I'd seen it.
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I was like just writing and writing and then I kinda developed my sound. And then, my managers were like, "Okay, we're gonna try to get a deal." And then first it was Interscope, and then it was Atlantic. And then, I ended up signing with Atlantic, but it was like a long process, a really long... it was A LONG PROCESS. I feel like it took me two years to do it.
My introduction into making records was through a sampler, and that's what I did for a long time. And through doing that over a period of time and kind of coming out of it, I've realized that one of the reasons it works so well for me, one of the reasons psychologically I took to the process so well, was because I'm a problem-solver by nature. If you stick me in a void, I don't do so hot. As soon as there's one little thing to spark an idea, and then I have something to bounce off of - then I'm all right. But until I have that, like in that void, it's kind of hard.
Certainly, writing a book was challenging. It took me a long time to learn how to do it. It took me seven years to get a sense of how to wean myself off the process and trickery of songwriting. You realize that giant metaphors work in songs because you have so few words. Standing alone on a page, they threaten to be overblown in a hurry.
My first relationship at 15 made me really, really mature because it was so destructive and intense. We were inseparable for three years and I was completely and utterly besotted. But then it all fell apart and it took me a long time to get over it.
I remember the few times that happened to me in writing, where you basically start writing and you look at the clock and six hours have gone by and you're, like, "Whoa! What the hell just happened?" And that piece ends up in the final product even though the final product is three years away. It doesn't get rewritten. It came out the right way. But that's happened to me so few times in my life.
It took me a lot of years to understand everything that it took to be at a high level. Not only on the court and in the weight room, but also making sure that I'm taking care of my body, that I'm recovering. It's a year-round process. It's not just in-season and then offseason and it's over.
I have this desire to just while away weeks, months and years. It took me two years to make this record but that was with me trying to condense my process and not disappear down the rabbit hole with all the cool things I've collected. I could take 10 years and not explore everything I want to with these instruments.
My mum took me to the theatre a lot, and I'd obsess over them for weeks after. She took me to see 'The Blue Room' at The Royal Exchange when I was 13, and that was a profound moment for me - I remember really wanting to be an actor. It really spoke to me like nothing else had before.
It's actually pretty complex, because there's two levels of reality in the narrative. One is what really took place, and the other is Spider's poisoned version of what took place.
'Amazing Grace' is not a book of interviews or onetime snapshots. It's a memoir of a journey that took me into a place I had never been and took over two years of my life. I don't think the people in this book would have said the things to me that they did if they perceived me as a reporter.
'Bonfire' was kicking around for a very long time. It was an idea I wanted to explore for a television show. Then I was given this weird gift of time when 'Jessica Jones' finished season one. I got really organized and just kind of banged it out, but it took a long time. It took two years to even have a first draft.
For me, trying the NFL and trying this football thing, because of the home and what I went through in there, to me, it was no big deal. It was just another opportunity for me. I didn't see that bigger, grandiose picture of it, I just took it one day at a time, like how I took it in the group home.
So I grew up feeling that I wasn't good enough, and that no-one would love me unless I was perfect. But no-one's perfect, we're not meant to be perfect. We're meant to be complete. But it's hard to be complete if you're trying to be perfect, so you kind of become disembodied. And I spent a lot of my life that way.""And if you don't own your strength... Women like me tend to always look over their shoulder to see who... "Who's the leader? Who's the smart one?" Never thinking it might be ME. Took a long time for me to get over that.
Coming to terms with the fact that my marriage was a failure was devastating and very difficult. I blamed myself for a lot of things. It took me a very long time to get over it.
I remember my parents yelling at each other and at me from an early age, and I remember a lot of things smashing. I try to look for the happy memories from the brief time my parents were married, and I can't really recall that. From the start things were messed up, and I just kept moving through the years and trying to pick out the little bits of evidence that would help me prove to myself that it wasn't my doing. But it took finding out somebody really does love me, who's not my parents or a relative, to really know that I was loveable.
It took me a long time to understand not to get caught up in other people's expectations. It really comes down to creative fulfillment. It took me a while to realize I don't want to just be on a show to be on a show.
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