A Quote by Darcey Steinke
I always think to myself, being human, having crushes now, what is it about that person that I really want? What do they represent? More freedom? Someone to care for me more? It's never really about the person.
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You almost have to step outside yourself and look at you as if you were someone else you really care about and really want to protect. Would you let someone take advantage of that person? Would you let someone use that person you really care about? Or would you speak up for them? If it was someone else you care about, you'd say something. I know you would. Okay, now put yourself back in that body. That person is you. Stand up and tell 'em, "Enough!
If I meet someone who's Native American and I don't know anything about indigenous people in New Jersey - which I kind of don't, which is not really good - I can learn more and more about their lives, and that makes me a more open person and a more accepting person.
Someone told me something recently about Sarah Palin, someone I trusted in the book business. They said, "I worked with Palin. She did an event at my bookstore, and she was really, really nice, and even more beautiful in person." I didn't want to hear that. I wanted to hear that she was awful and hideous-looking. But I thought, I have to listen to that. I have to hear that. I don't want to be the one who is going to deny anything complimentary said about somebody just because I disagree with that person.
With Tinder and all these other things, there's always this kind of illusion with infinite choices. There's something very cool about saying, 'Oh, I actually really care about this person, and I want to commit to loving this person and being loyal to this person.' You can't get that from the kind of infinite multiple choices that are out there.
At a person-to-person level, I think that there's always something to be said for having some empathy for the folks who really, really disagree with you about a given topic.
Workouts, for me, are more about stress relief and having more energy to do the things I need to do. That's a much healthier way of approaching exercise. All of those other things will come if you commit to it. It really is about being a happy person.
It's really about making opportunities for yourself and connecting with people on a more-than-normal level. That opens doors. You never know if the caterer's brother is someone. You don't know who someone is having dinner with that night. So being a nice person and touching people creates opportunity.
I always wanted to be more validated as a human being, as a person, than I was as a player. I think that was a really hard balance for me.
When people say stuff to us casually in reviews, if they write about it in a condescending way with really gendered language, that's not really about me. It used to hurt my feelings more than it does now. That's not about us as a band or me as a person. That's about how you feel about women, and that's a societal thing.
I suppose home is, for me, more of a state of mind. It's really more of about being where I want to be with people I care about.
That's really one thing I really care about as a person is trying to make the people's lives around me better. Whether that's just being a friend and listening or with information I can offer. However it is, that's something I care about and I try to do on a regular basis.
It's not really about asking for the raise but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along. And that, I think, might be one of the additional superpowers that, quite frankly, women who don't ask for raises have. Because that's good karma. It'll come back. Because somebody's going to know: 'That's the kind of person that I want to trust. That's the kind of person that I want to really give more responsibility to.'
I don't really even go out that much now, except to walk my dogs, because I don't want to be recognised. I used to be a really friendly person, and now I just want to be invisible. I liked myself much more before I got famous. I was much friendlier and had more energy.
I don't think I think things through like regular people would. I could be a real hateful person, and I also don't really care about my own well-being, I guess. I just kind of have that knack about me. I just don't care.
When I see people talking on the internet about me or my work it's almost always more a description of themselves and so I never really think of myself as anything more than just who I always was.
I'm more interested in talking about what I do. And I don't think people are interested in my personal life. I've never had a Hollywood life. I've always been a worker. But it's true: If you know something about a person outside of the movie that is really repulsive to you, it's hard to shake. So I prefer to do my speaking through the work. I don't want people to know anything about me, because that's not important. I'm more interested in the me that takes shape through these characters. The other stuff is personal and too easy to trivialize out of context.
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