A Quote by Dave Barry

The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him. — © Dave Barry
The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him.
A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door; the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, He's back. It's that guy, that same guy. He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. Another can of food? I don't believe it.
Knowing how to use your voice so it makes sense to your dog, using words in a way your dog can understand, correcting him without creating fear, praising him properly, and doing it all at the proper time are critical skills to develop if your dog is to learn from you.
Dog parks can be a fantastic way to socialize your dog, but it's important for owners to understand that a dog park isn't exercise and isn't a substitute for walk. A visit to the dog park is fun - play time.
Problem is, you can’t accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby – you’re just lickin’ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.” “But I love him.” “So love him.” “But I miss him.” “So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it.
When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store.
Always walk out the door ahead of your dog when leaving the house. This will show your dog who is in the leadership role.
My view is quite simple. When your dog pees on the carpet, you do not give away your dog. You say, This dog is special. I have to teach him not to pee on the carpet. I feel exactly the same way about men. They need to be taught things.
Between the monster and the fool there are many people who walk the middle path with a dog at their heels, their lives enriched by giving the dog a dog's life.
Sometimes I had the feeling that all of us in his family were like pets to him. The dog you take for a walk, the cat you play with and that curls up in your lap, purring, to be stroked - you can be fond of them, you can even need them to a certain extent, and nonetheless the whole thing - buying pet food, cleaning up the cat box, and trips to the vet - is really too much. Your life is elsewhere.
If a dog is biting a black man, the black man should kill the dog, whether the dog is a police dog or a hound dog or any kind of dog. If a dog is fixed on a black man when that black man is doing nothing but trying to take advantage of what the government says is supposed to be his, then that black man should kill that dog or any two-legged dog who sets the dog on him.
A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.
If you don't have the energy or time to walk your dog, what I recommend is a doggie treadmill. It takes a little while to get the dogs accustomed to it and they are expensive, but if you're looking for a lavish gift for a dog that's fat, it's really great.
I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
Hunger and fear are the only realities in dog life: an empty stomach makes a fierce dog.
I have a cottage near Aldeburgh, and from there it's a sturdy two-mile walk across farmland to an empty beach, where I collect hag stones and run around with the dog. I'm a keen walker, and I love Suffolk's big skies.
God will test you because He wants you to mature. He wants you to develop a walk with Him that is not based on your fluctuating emotions, but on your commitment to Him as you learn to walk by faith.
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