A Quote by Dave Barry

Turbulence.” This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along, and there will be an enormous, shuddering WHUMP, and clearly the plane has rammed into an airborne object at least the size of a water buffalo, and the pilot will say, “Folks, we're encountering a little turbulence.” Meanwhile they are up there in the cockpit trying desperately to clean water-buffalo organs off the windshield.

Dave Barry

Quote Topics

Airborne Along Announce Buffalo Clean Clean Water Clearly Cockpit Desperately Encountered Enormous Flying Folks Least Little Meanwhile Object Off Organs Pilot Pilots Plane Say Shuddering Size Strikes Trying Turbulence Up Water Water Buffalo Will Your

Quote Author

Dave Barry
American - Journalist
Born: July 3, 1947

I was flying to the Maldives in 2000 when the plane went through turbulence - after that, I didn't fly for four years. Then a job came up in India, so I did a simulator flight and learnt about what goes on in the cockpit. I'm fine now.

Paul Merton

Coaching is like flying an airplane, there is going to be a lot of turbulence, but your job is to land the plane safely.

Chuck Daly

There's a lot of Hollywood bullshit about flying. I mean, look at the movies about test pilots or fighter pilots who face imminent death. The controls are jammed or something really important has fallen off the plane, and these guys are talking like magpies; their lives are flashing past their eyes, and they're flailing around in the cockpit. It just doesn't happen. You don't have time to talk. You're too damn busy trying to get out of the problem you're in to talk or ricochet around the cockpit. Or think about what happened the night after your senior prom.

Robin Olds

Those two pilots that sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination have been suspended. They got suspended because they were looking at their laptops instead of flying the plane. Think about this -- everybody else on the plane has to turn off their laptops except for the people flying the plane.

Jay Leno

My concept is, until you absolutely know the plane is crashing, there's no reason to be afraid. All the turbulence in the world does not mean the plane is crashing. Once it's confirmed, then you can be afraid.

Nile Rodgers

Life is not safe, and so our task is not to promise our kids there will be no turbulence. It's to assure them that when the turbulence comes, we will all hold hands and get through it together.

Glennon Doyle Melton

If the plane moves, some turbulence, I am nervous flyer.

Rafael Nadal

I was going through a little bit of turbulence in my career. And so, it's funny how turbulence itself will make you hold onto something for security. And so the only thing I knew is trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own heart, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy path.

Emmitt Smith

You know, buffalo are significantly bigger than elk. I grew up near Yellowstone so I've been near buffalo. Buffalo are huge.

Mike Leach

The first object of the painter is to make a flat plane appear as a body in relief and projecting from that plane

Leonardo da Vinci

Whenever I was flying commercial, I would land in Chicago, and they would announce, 'Get your passports out.' It happened so often, I would walk to the front of the plane and say, 'You're looking for me. Just take me; it will be easier for everybody else.

Shahid Khan

Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.

Sid Waddell

I've been around water my whole life, so I basically really learned at a young age the importance of it but also one day, at one point, clean water will be hard to find. There's so many people throughout the world that don't have access to clean water. Obviously we're extremely fortunate to have the opportunities that we have and to have all the water that we have. Like I said, and I can't say it enough, we all should work together to try and conserve as much as we possible can.

Michael Phelps

If I'm not on stage, I'm a pilot. I like flying planes; I have a little plane back in Nashville.

Dierks Bentley

I always step on the plane with my right foot and touch the outside of the plane with my left hand. Sometimes you know there's someone standing there to welcome you to the plane and I have to kind of get them to move a little bit so I can put my hand on the outside of the plane. It's not a natural thing to be up in the sky in a little metal tube.