A Quote by Dave Barry
I don't know what you can possibly do for less than $50 to have somebody come in your house.
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Most people don't know this, but if you settle a debt for less than the amount you owed, you are potentially responsible for taxes on the forgiven debt. Look at it this way: You received goods and services for the full amount of debt, but you're only paying for a portion of it - sometimes less than 50%. Anything more than $600 is generally considered taxable, but the IRS will sometimes waive the tax if you can prove that your assets were less than your liabilities when the debt was settled.
I've had people ask me if it would have been easier to take care of your parents if you had siblings, and I think it's 50/50. I know people who have siblings, and there is a lot of acrimony because somebody always feels that they are doing more than the other person.
All I'm saying is that, you know, whether we're worth a billion, whether we're worth a million, whether we're worth $1,000, it's what's in your heart. You know, $100 a month from somebody or $50 a year for people who may be in a less economic bracket, that's as important to the Lord.
If you don't get offended by somebody scoring on you then I don't know what to tell you. That is like somebody breaking into your house and just taking your video game out of your hand and you just let it happen. I know if you do that to me, it ain't going to happen. I love my Xbox.
Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
If you don't know your own value, somebody will tell you your value, and it'll be less than you're worth.
I don't get out of bed for less than $50 a day. I want to make that clear to America. This is a new age of androgynous supermodels. We don't get out of bed for less than $50 a day.
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.
If you want to recruit somebody of high character and value, somebody you can trust to not only watch your house, but your children, someone you can count on to share carries of 1,000 yards each rather than trying to get 1,800 for one, now you're going to build something that matters.
If you're a 50-year-old guy, and you're sitting around the house with - you know, and just getting fatter, feeling sorry for yourself, get up and move your body and see what it does to your life and to your mind and to your happiness and to your energy levels. And I get all that from boxing.
If your company matches your 401(k) contribution, then no matter what, contribute to your 401(k) first. You put in a dollar, they put in 50 cents. It's an automatic 50 percent return on your money. You can't pass that up. I'd rather have the 50 percent than pay 32 percent interest on a credit card.
The less you eat, drink and read books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public house; the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you save-the greater becomes your treasure which neither moths nor dust will devour-your capital. The less you are, the more you have; the less you express your own life, the greater is your alienated life-the greater is the store of your estranged being.
If you try to break into my house, you will be severely lacerated and possibly electrocuted, and I'm fine with that. Because if you're breaking into my house, you're on your own.
It's more likely in America that your parents will file for bankruptcy than divorce. We think of divorce as so prevalent, but we all know that happens because somebody moves out of the house.
50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!
I like creating something from nothing and hearing it on the radio or on stage or from somebody driving down the street singing it. It's like building a house, taking a vacant piece of land, and next thing you know, there's a house with somebody living in it.
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