A Quote by David Brenner

I want my tombstone to read: If this is a joke, I don't get it.

David Brenner

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Get Joke Read Tombstone Want

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David Brenner
American - Comedian
February 4, 1945 - March 15, 2014

When my mother passed away, we knew what she wanted on her tombstone, so I asked my father, so there wouldn't be any argument among us children, 'Daddy, what do you want on your tombstone?' He thought about that. He said, 'preacher.' So that's what's going to be on his tombstone. Preacher.

Franklin Graham

I don't want a tombstone. You could carve on it 'She never actually wanted a tombstone.'

Ali Smith

On 'Lab Rats,' I read the script probably three or four times before we ever even do a table read because I want to be completely prepared. And I want to know exactly which beats I have to hit and where I need to make something comical. Some lines need a little more than others do just to get the point across, to get the joke to be funny.

Billy Unger

I did not want my tombstone to read, 'She kept a really clean house.'

Ann Richards

You only live once. You don't want your tombstone to read: 'Played it Safe.'

Rosario Dawson

The U.K. and Europe in general seem to be a lot more patient. The U.S. are expecting 'joke joke joke joke joke joke joke.' They don't actually sit and listen to you.

Bo Burnham

I sometimes joke that when I die, my tombstone will say, 'Here lies the guy who hired Jonathan Ive.'

Robert Brunner

When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don't care where it goes.

Dave Barry

You can tell on-stage when a joke's starting to lose its pop. It doesn't mean people don't want to hear it anymore; it means I don't want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they've never heard.

Ron White

I have my tombstone already. A tombstone company in the East gave it to me when I jumped Snake Canyon. My plot is in Montana.

Evel Knievel

I did not want my tombstone to read, 'She kept a really clean house.' I think I'd like them to remember me by saying, 'She opened government to everyone.'

Ann Richards

What you never want to do is have a story that doesn't track emotionally, because then you're going joke to joke and you're going to fatigue the audience. The only thing that's going to string them to the next joke is how successful the previous joke is.

Paul Feig

I now believe when I'm dead and buried my tombstone will read, "I'm not entirely sure the band's over."

Nick Mason

My tombstone would someday read I died keeled over at my computer writing a screenplay or a business plan.

Gabriel Campisi

When I was governor, if I told a joke in front of the press - I learned. I would go, "That was a joke, joke, joke," and I'd say it three times.

Jesse Ventura

I have become a giant fan of the testing process, especially with a comedy. I mean, they tell you what's funny. It's almost tailor-made for people who shoot the way we shoot, trying a million different options and versions of things. Because the audience doesn't laugh at a joke, we put in another joke. If they don't laugh at the next joke, we put in another joke. You just keep doing them and you can get the movie to the point where every joke is funny, if you have enough options in the can.

Seth Rogen

A Quote by David Brenner

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