A Quote by David Letterman
Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot.
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Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michele Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn't tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do.
This week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English.
Democrats are calling Christine O'Donnell 'the Sarah Palin of the East.' Really? She's a loud, emotionally unstable woman from Delaware. That's not Sarah Palin, that's Joe Biden.
I have had enough of the sexist treatment of Sarah Palin... I call upon the McCain campaign to stop treating Sarah Palin like she is a delicate flower who will wilt at any moment.
Former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, is promoting her new book and she's going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Sarah and Oprah. On the one hand, a very powerful woman qualified to be President of the United States, and on the other hand, you have Sarah ... But if you think about it, Sarah Palin and Oprah Winfrey have a lot in common. They both helped get Obama elected.
Evangelicalism's moral values are now articulated by reality stars like the Duggar family, who Mike Huckabee embraced, and 'Duck Dynasty,' whose patriarch, Phil Robertson, endorsed Cruz. Palin herself, an evangelical darling in 2008, has had two reality TV shows: 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' and 'Sarah Palin's Amazing America.'
I'm in, like, dating Babylon. Like, I go on dates with men and, literally, like Sarah Palin will come up in like the first 20 minutes, and that doesn't put me in the mood. Like, talking about Sarah Palin. And they just want to know gossip, and I'm just kind of taking a little hiatus from dating right now, because I just don't want to talk about Sarah Palin.
In fact Sarah Palin has created more jobs than Obama has. She created eleven jobs fact-checking at the AP just for the Palin autobiography.
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey, though she said she was amazed to find out that, besides being a bird, Turkey is also a country. Did you see that all over the Internet today? While Sarah Palin was pardoning a turkey, right behind her was a guy slaughtering turkeys. But, see, like most Internet stories, a little half-true. Turns out that, after a couple of minutes listening to Sarah Palin's voice, the turkeys said 'Kill us now.'
What John McCain didn`t realize was that Sarah Palin was his demographic. He thought he was appealing to younger women, and in fact, Sarah Palin appealed to people who were like McCain, old white guys, who thought she was sexy to skin a moose. That was a miscalculation, it didn`t work. They didn`t do the vetting, they didn`t do the polling.
Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is more than happy to oblige. She's been saying that Obama hangs out with terrorists. And you know, I think the evangelical lady who's in a video getting blessed by a witch doctor, who's married to a secessionist, and can't name a newspaper -- she's right, Obama is scary.
I mean, you make a movie with Sarah Palin in it, you get great ratings. That's easy. I know how to get ratings: get Sarah Palin.
They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.
Sarah Palin knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America.
Barack Obama makes more gaffes than George Bush and Sarah Palin combined and is never called on it.
My view of Sarah Palin is she is the most dynamic figure maybe in politics, even more in some ways than President Obama, who is a little more scripted than she is. He is great with the teleprompter.
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