A Quote by David Sedaris
People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, 'Have you ever considered dental implants?'
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My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, 'No, because it's my job; it's what I do, and I enjoy it.' It's still the most challenging thing for me to do.
For me, I know I am a trans activist and I try my best to stand up when the time is right, but at the same time, I don't always want to be considered transgender around my friends and people at my daughter's school. I just want to be considered a woman.
I'm at least getting my foot in the door as far as doing straight dramatic parts, which no one would have ever considered me for in the '80s. I never objected to that because I love doing comedy, and I'm not the kind of actor that insists that unless you're doing a serious dramatic role, you're not acting.
Well, my aspirations certainly were not to be in a pre-school show. I mean, it's certainly nothing that I considered; it's nothing I ever thought anyone would ever let me do.
I always had this ego where if I ever wanted to come back to doing rap, I could do that. That was not true. I would get stuck, I would be in a room and someone would ask me for something and I didn't have it.
I have been asked what I mean by my word of honor. I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls - walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground - there is the possibility that in some way or another I may escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the circle? No. Never! I'd die first!
God, of thy goodness, give me Thyself; for Thou art enough for me, and I can ask for nothing less that can be full honor to Thee. And if I ask anything that is less, ever Shall I be in want, for only in Thee have I all.
You can ask anybody who's ever worked for me or worked with me, who's ever served with me, when I tell you I'm going to try to do something, I will get up every single day and work my heart out for you.
I would never ever want to be an actor playing anyone other than myself. I can't do voices or anything. No, it's not for me. There are lots of people who are trained actors and I feel it's offensive for me to do it.
People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
There was a library near us in San Francisco. It was the West Portal Public Library. I would ask my father to drive me there at night and pick me up when it closed. I think he was worried about this routine but never let on. Also, I kept this a secret from my friends, as I don't think it would have been considered the 'coolest' habit.
I was in middle school at a bat mitzvah, and a fashion photographer, Suzy Gorman, came up to me and asked me if I considered being a model. I did a shoot with her, and than I signed with an agency in Saint Louis.
It's always sad to me when certain people are excluded from being considered beautiful... because of someone else's expectation. That bothers me.
I love to dance. But I don't like being up in front of tons of people. I didn't have that in me to do it, the desire to be performing in front of a lot of people. If there's a lot of people on a set, I get nervous. So music just wasn't something I ever seriously considered.
If somebody, without knowing me, comes up to me and wants to upset or belittle me, I think that reflects badly on them, not me... if you're ever unsure of what to call me or someone like me, my name always does well.
I think the stakes are very high in a relationship so my guy will have to be willing to let me go and, trust me, no one that has ever been with me has ever wanted to let me go, ask my exes!
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