A Quote by Demetri Martin

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.
[Coining phrase "null hypothesis"] In relation to any experiment we may speak of this hypothesis as the "null hypothesis," and it should be noted that the null hypothesis is never proved or established, but is possibly disproved, in the course of experimentation. Every experiment may be said to exist only in order to give the facts a chance of disproving the null hypothesis.
Pretty much everyone hates high school. It's a measure of your humanity, I suspect. If you enjoyed high school, you were probably a psychopath or a cheerleader. Or possibly both. Those things aren't mutually exclusive, you know. I've tried to block out the memory of my high school years, but no matter how hard you try, it's always with you, like an unwanted hitchhiker. Or herpes. I assume.
I was so tall in high school that I was convinced that I was uncoordinated and not athletic. I was terrified to play any sport at all, no matter how hard they tried to convince me to be on the girls' basketball team as the tallest kid in class.
High school was interesting. For a lot of people, high school was just a big social experiment, and I think the value of high school was not so much learning how to be a great student... but I think it's learning how to interact with people and be social. I would say that in that endeavor, I completely failed.
I learned how to do stop-frame animation and I experimented with that a lot and pretty much that was my mode of animating through high school.
The hope was, people like me got to finally find our place in college or in the actual world. People who understood this told you that high school wasn't the actual world, that it was more like a temporary alternate reality you were forced to believe in for four years. A video game you played, where you could never get to the next level no matter how hard you tried.
I went to public high school in Scottsdale, Arizona, and I certainly wore a lot of makeup in high school. I experimented with a cat eye for a semester, and then, you know, a strong red lip because Courtney Love in Hole was all the rage.
Most people are nostalgic in a way that they're fond of the past, but they still are happy that they are where they are now. You know, when you say, 'Oh, high school was this or that,' you don't want to go back. No matter how much you loved high school, you don't want to actually be back in high school. I certainly wouldn't.
I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried..." "Nice try... Five cents, please!
No matter how hard I tried to popularize, I never cheapened a great work of art.
I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal.
Let Rahul Gandhi become PM if he can. We experimented with Narendra Modi and look where we have landed. Let's experiment with Rahul Gandhi, or anybody. It can't be worse than this.
I went to the computer and tried to experiment. I introduced a very high level of experiment in very pure mathematics.
I tried to do my best impression of The Jonas Brothers, but no matter how hard I tried I ended up looking cool!
No matter how much you know, no matter how much you think, no matter how much you plot and you connive and you plan, you're not superior to sex. It's a very risky game.... It's sex that disorders our normally ordered lives.
I never wrote. I also never really thought about being an actor. But when it was time to go to high school, we couldn't afford private school, so I tried out for all the special schools in New York.
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