A Quote by Demetri Martin
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.
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Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off - don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.
I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one the other day. Well, a few minutes later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell.
There's not really a ban on the KIA bracelet specifically. There are regulations for wearing the uniform and specifically jewelry, and Marines are not allowed to wear bracelets. This falls under that spectrum. Now, the KIA bracelet will be lumped into the same category as the POW/MIA bracelets, which are approved for wear.
I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see. But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay, the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys half-full. Because you're focusing on the important part of the story: the bracelets are working.
I think the best thing a person can do is to read through the Gospels in the Bible and really look at Jesus, because if a person does this, they will realize that the Jesus they learned about in Sunday school or the Jesus they hear jokes about or the skinny, Gandhi Jesus that exists in their imaginations isn't anything like the real Jesus at all.
I feel like everything I wear is a favorite thing. I wouldn't wear something if I didn't love it, and I wouldn't just wear something because someone put me in it.
If I ever feel like I don't know what to do next, I always think about WWJD, like 'what would J-Lo do,' 'cause J-Lo for me is like the epitome of feminine sensuality, mixed with show stopping beauty.
When I meet people for the first time, I always put on my glasses because I feel like that's a little something extra between me and them. It's like the Laurence Dunbar poem "We Wear the Mask."
I hope people will never stop dressing up as Harry Potter. It feels less to me like something you wear because you think it's a great costume idea and more like something you wear because you really like wearing your Hogwarts robe, and you really only get the one chance per year.
Just because you're wearing something that's like a gown or what have you, you should wear it like you can take your shoes off and put your feet up and what I realized is that most people I love fashion-wise, they wear clothes like that. An ease to it. I thought that was a nice tool.
I would say that the powerful, revolutionary thing about Jesus' message is that he says, 'What do you do with the people that aren't like you? What do you do with the Other? What do you do with the person that's hardest to love?' . . . That's the measure of a good religion, is - you can love the people who are just like you; that's kind of easy. So what Jesus does is takes the question and talks about fruit. He's interested in what you actually produce. And that's a different discussion. How do we love the people in the world that are least like us?
I feel like, you know, some people like to wear colorful stuff. Some people like to be blacked down, and some people just want to be colorful. Some people just have weird problems. I'm never going to wear a pink sweater. Some people just do it because they feel like they can do it.
I like the concept of dressing people. I used to not care whether people bought the clothes or not, but I kind of like it now. I wouldn't label that commercialism; it's more like I do this work because I want people to wear it.
For a long time, I refused to wear jeans. I liked high-waisted pants, but jeans made me feel like I wasn't being unique. Even now, I won't wear the skinny-jeans style, because most people wear those - they have to be baggier, boyfriend-looking, or sort of like a mom jean. I'm real funny that way.
The Republicans didn't want the government to run your life, because Jesus should. That was really part of their thing: less government, more Jesus. Now it's like, how about more government and Jesus?
Jesus explains that the church is like a hospital. But this hospital doesn't want to let any sick people in. I feel like people like that have had to lead these secret lives because they're so afraid of how people will react. I think we have to get to the point where we're restoring people and caring for them, and when they fall, we pick them up. My thing is that we need to love this guy and pray for him and his family and open our homes to him if need be. I don't know if he wants to come sleep on my futon here in Brooklyn, but he's welcome to if he'd like.
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