A Quote by Demetri Martin
Turtles are greater than baby nephews, because it's ok to drop a turtle.
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Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time tells the story of a cosmologist whose speech is interrupted by a little old lady who informs him that the universe rests on the back of a turtle. Ah, yes, madame, the scientist replies, but what does the turtle rest on? The old lady shoots back: You can't trick me, young man. It's nothing but turtles, turtles, turtles, all the way down.
I was obsessed with the Turtles, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There's Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael and my dad used to call me Callemundo, saying you're the fifth turtle.
There is an Indian story -- at least I heard it as an Indian story -- about an Englishman who, having been told that the world rested on a platform which rested on the back of an elephant which rested in turn on the back of a turtle, asked (perhaps he was an ethnographer; it is the way they behave), what did the turtle rest on? Another turtle. And that turtle? 'Ah, Sahib, after that it is turtles all the way down
Dill said striking a match under a turtle was hateful. “How do you know a match don't hurt him?” “Turtles can't feel, stupid,” said Jem. “Where you ever a turtle, huh?
If you go with what Hillary [Clinton] is saying, in the ninth month, you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby. Now, you can say that that's OK and Hillary can say that that's OK. But it's not OK with me, because based on what she's saying, and based on where she's going, and where she's been, you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb in the ninth month on the final day. And that's not acceptable.
Turtles don't feel, stupid," said Jem. "Were you ever a turtle, huh?
Most people are heartless about turtles because a turtle's heart will beat for hours after he has been cut up and butchered. But the old man thought, I have such a heart too and my feet and hands are like theirs.
On its 2015 list, the Fish and Wildlife Service included the 'ea, or hawksbill turtle, as well as the green turtle, Ridley sea turtle, leatherback turtle and loggerhead turtle. Four mammals are considered endangered: the Hawaiian hoary bat; the kohola, or humpback whale; the sperm whale; and the endemic Hawaiian monk seal.
And the turtles, of course...all the turtles are free, as turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.
I was a kid that loved reptiles and eventually started an organization dedicated to saving turtles and tortoises, called the Turtle Conservancy, where we protect land and basically do species conservation around the world.
Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!
It's OK to do cute little things like kissing a turtle, but you can't kiss another person because he's a different color? Give me a break. And you have to remember, I'm from Dallas, Texas.
My favorite superheroes when I was younger were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and they still are. Simply because they rule and you've got 4 different personalities to choose from depending on your mood...And they're huge human-turtles!!
What did turtles evolve from? Really, I want to know. And for God’s sake, don’t say lizards, because turtles are nothing like lizards. They could not be more different.
I can do a backflip on the spot. I learned how from watching 'Ninja Turtles' movies as a kid. Whenever the Turtles got in trouble with their teacher, Master Splinter, he'd make them practice backflips as punishment - and I was so focused on becoming one of the Turtles that I taught myself how to do one, too.
As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand.
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