A Quote by Demetri Martin

If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples. — © Demetri Martin
If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.
In Hollywood, you've got a hundred people on set, and shooting the sex scene you're wearing nude-toned underwear and tape on your nipples. Nothing is going beyond where you want it to go.
People who leave their cars on the street with tape covering their broken windows are obviously too trusting. I mean, when your car did have glass for a window, someone broke into it. How is tape any more of a deterrent? What are the thieves going to say? Ooh, that like looks like duct tape, we can't beat that. Let's look for one with scotch or masking.
Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.
I feel sexy because I feel loved. That's what sexy is-it's feeling good from the inside. When you feel sexy or sensuous, you naturally want to open up and give, and I think that comes from being able to receive love and desire.
I find the whole concept of being 'SEXY' embarrassing and confusing. If I do an interview with photographs people desperately want to change me- dye my hair blonder, pluck my eyebrows. Then there's the choice of clothes. I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini skirt, BUT THATS NOT ME. I feel uncomfortable. I'd never go out in a mini skirt. Personally, I don't actually think it's even that sexy. Whats sexy about saying, 'I'm here with my boobs out and a short skirt, have a look at everything I've got?' My idea of sexy is that less is more. The LESS you reveal the MORE people can wonder.
The tape measure doesn't lie. Get that tape measure out and put it on your hips and your waist. Keep checking it. And keep exercising and cutting those calories down until that tape measure gets close to where you were in your prime.
Maybe I'll start from the initial idea, what motivated me to do that. In 1953, I had access to a tape recorder. Tape recorders were not widely available. There was no cassette tape back then. It was a Sears Roebuck tape machine. I put a microphone in the window and recorded the ambience.
I feel sexy when I get out of the tub - your skin is fresh and you've put up your hair without looking.
What makes all those women sexy? Were they just born sexy? I guess it's the way they act. I don't want to have to act sexy. I just want to be me, and if I don't happen to be sexy, oh well. That's OK. I don't want to force something I'm not.
People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know... People - I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Here... Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes? And then move your eyes down to where your nipples used to be, put your breasts up on your head, everybody will pay attention!
When I do photo shoots for men's magazines, I don't do lingerie, I don't do skimpy bikinis because I feel like, for young women, setting the standard of you can be sexy as hell, but you don't have to have your ass hanging out. Just me personally, I just don't feel that its necessary to project sexy. I feel like I can project that from the inside out. I can wear something a little sexy, but I don't need to take it to that next level.
Opinions are like nipples, everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not.
My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.
Put down your cell phones, put everything away, and feel your blood pulsing in you, feel your creative impulse, feel your own spirit, your heart, your mind. Feel the joy of being alive and free.
I remember my dreams when I was a junior soloist. 'Oh, I hope I don't end here,' I thought. 'I want to do the ballerina in 'Scotch Symphony.' I don't want to be the little Scotch girl.' And I actually went beyond my wildest dreams. I worked with Balanchine. I had ballets choreographed for me.
I think a good role model has to be sexy. Real, empowered, self-possessed women are sexy. When you're really in control of your choices, your mood, your body, and your opinions, people find you sexy.
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