A Quote by Demetri Martin

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

Demetri Martin

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Because Building Choose Down Elevator Escalator Fell Half Hour Move One Time Over Riding Stairs Time Tripped Up

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Demetri Martin
American - Comedian
Born: May 25, 1973

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

Mitch Hedberg

The problem with revenge is that it never evens the score. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain. Both are stuck on the escalator as long as parity is demanded, and the escalator never stops.

Lewis B. Smedes

Walking is a great way to exercise, and we can find ways to take additional steps each day by parking a car farther away from a destination, climbing stairs instead of taking the elevator or escalator, and walking during occasional breaks from sitting at a desk.

Margaret Cuomo

Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

Mitch Hedberg

I always walk up the escalator on the Tube, and I live in a house with a lot of stairs, and that's good exercise, but you need more than that.

Ian Mckellen

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.

Mitch Hedberg

I'm building a glass pyramid over the Egyptian escalator where my body will be mummified, so my customers can come and see me forever.

Mohamed Al-Fayed

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"

Henny Youngman

In life, redemption was walking up the down escalator: stop to congratulate yourself, and back you slid.

Amy Waldman

Surely, marriage is throwing anchor and saying, 'This is where I'm staying. I've made my choice, and this is all I want because I've been on the up and down escalator, through the revolving door, and I want to stand still.' That's what I expected.

Pete Burns

Time passes, as the novelist says. The single most useful trick of fiction for our repair and refreshment: the defeat of time. A century of family saga and a ride up an escalator can take the same number of pages. Fiction sets any conversion rate, then changes it in a syllable. The narrator’s mother carries her child up the stairs and the reader follows, for days. But World War I passes in a paragraph. I needed 125 pages to get from Labor Day to Christmas vacation. In six more words, here’s spring.

Richard Powers

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

Henny Youngman

The voice is always in my head. In fact I aspire to be more like Mario. What could be better than rescuing and falling in love with a princess, right? Someone who faces every challenge in life with a cheerful Wahoo! In London a bike messenger stopped me and said ‘You’re the bloke who does Mario’ on an escalator. So naturally I go ‘Wahooooo’ all the way up the stairs.

Charles Martinet

The ruin of the human heart is self-interest, which the American merchant calls self-service. We have become a self-service populace, and all our specious comforts -the automatic elevator, the escalator, the cafeteria -are depriving us of volition and moral and physical energy.

Edward Dahlberg

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.

Groucho Marx

When Donald Trump won the election because when I came into the show, I said, I think this guy can win. This was when he first came down that escalator. He gave his first speech.

Trevor Noah

A Quote by Demetri Martin

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