A Quote by Dennis Miller
The man who accused Richard Simmons of slapping him in an airport has dropped the assault charge. Dropped it! Upon hearing the news, Simmons sadly responded, "You mean I'm not going to prison?"
Related Quotes
I literally went in and auditioned and got the part of "sounds like J.K. Simmons." I've heard people say a "J.K. Simmons type, but younger" or "J.K. Simmons, but with hair" or "J.K. Simmons but Mongolian." It's often "J.K. Simmons but...". You think you're on top of the world and they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons-type" and then, before you know it, they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons only younger." The next step is for a "J.K. Simmons-type...Oh, you mean he's still alive?"
Everyone wants to focus on what Ben Simmons can't do, which is shoot and try to rush him into being a range shooter. I think Simmons in Philadelphia has done a good job in focusing what he does great versus what he doesn't do as well.
Between last night and this morning, I've been getting a lot of messages from overseas fans along the lines of 'There's an American comic ripping off Bleach!' I'm not that good at English, but I looked at the site and it seems it's a comic by Nick Simmons, the son of Gene Simmons. To be honest, I'm more bothered by the fact that Gene Simmons' son is a comic artist than whether or not it's a rip-off.
I'd love to have a big old hug with Richard Simmons.
Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns
"The New York Times" is reporting correctly that women had accused a presidential candidate of sexual assault. Now that's news on any level. I mean you can't argue that that's not news.
I am not going to say I have never spoken with Bill Simmons because I have. I respect him greatly.
I could be hit by a Sara Lee truck tomorrow. Which is not a bad way of going: 'Richard Simmons Found in a Freeway in Pound Cake and Fudge, With a Smile on His Face.' Let's face it. We don't know anything.
I bought all those [fitness] videos -- Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda. I love to sit and eat cookies and watch 'em.
I have never read any Tolstoy. I felt badly about this until I read a Bill Simmons column where he confessed that he'd never seen 'The Big Lebowski.' Simmons, it should be pointed out, has seen everything. He said that everyone needs to have skipped at least one great cultural touchstone.
I'd never want to be Gene Simmons, an old man who puts on makeup to entertain kids, like a clown going to work.
Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me.
With Masvidal, I dropped him and it's the first time I'd ever dropped anyone in my life. I kind of started to turn the corner after that, and it was just a realization that if my hands were a weakness, it was only because I didn't believe in them. I had the talent to do it.
I would not want to be Richard Simmons... right now or anytime. He seems like a nice guy, but if I had to dress like that? That would absolutely suck.
A poor old man held the winning ticket on a half million dollar lottery. Hearing the old man might be surprised at the shock, the local pastor was asked to break the news gradually. The pastor made a customary call, and while visiting casually asked the old man what he would do with a half million dollars if he had it. The old man replied, "why, I'd give half of it to you." Whereupon the pastor dropped dead.
I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
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