A Quote by Diplo
I have heard, 'Never go to bed angry,' and that makes sense. Unless you're always checking yourself, a grudge or something small can break apart a relationship, and you start to forget what is so amazing about your partner.
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I've given myself a bit more of a break in that I can't say yes to everything. I have to prioritize, and obviously it starts with your children. But I used to be much later on the list. I've started putting myself within a safe distance from that first priority. You just have to remind yourself to not forget about your relationship and to not forget about yourself. And it's interesting, because I have a very fraught relationship with working out.
Many people get into a relationship as a way to compensate for something they lack or hate within themselves. This is a one-way ticket to a toxic relationship because it makes your love conditional - you will love your partner as long as they help you feel better about yourself.
When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. Sometimes it will break. At other times, it will simply die off. Then, there are those times when for no reason, it will simply fall apart. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let it go.
There's never a mistake in the universe. So if your partner is angry, good. If there are things about him that you consider flaws, good, because these flaws are your own, you're projecting them, and you can write them down, inquire, and set yourself free. People go to India to find a guru, but you don't have to: you're living with one. Your partner will give you everything you need for your own freedom.
If you've ever been in a romantic relationship and you say or do something that hurts your partner and then your partner is upset about it, it doesn't actually matter whether what you did had the intention that your partner thought it did. What matters is that the emotions are real. You can't invalidate that.
I tell my kids and my grandkids, 'Never forget where you came from. Never forget your roots.' My grandkids, they didn't go through the hard times as much as other ones in our family did. One thing is to just never forget where you came from and you never forget that nothing is more important than your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Anger is active sadness; sadness is inactive anger. They are not two things. Watch your own behaviour. When do you find yourself sad? You find yourself sad only in situations where you cannot be angry. The boss in the office says something and you cannot be angry; it is uneconomical. You cannot be angry and you have to go on smiling - then you become sad. The energy has become inactive. You come home, and with your wife you find a small thing, anything irrelevant, and you become angry.
Forget the resolutions. Forget control and discipline... too much work. Instead try experimenting. Go in search of something to fall in love with... something about yourself, your career, your spouse
You are never alone in Afghanistan. You are always in the company of others, usually family. You don't understand yourself really as an individual, you understand yourself as part of something bigger than yourself. Family is so central to your identity, to how you make sense of your world, it is very dramatic, and therefore an amazing source of storytelling, a source of fiction for me.
If you're angry, you don't have to write a poem dealing with the cause of your anger. But it needs to be an angry poem. So go ahead... write one. I know you're at least a little bit angry with me. And when you're done with your poem, decipher it as if you'd just found it printed in a textbook and know absolutely nothing about its author. The results can be amazing...and scary. But it's always cheaper than a therapist.
Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
It'd be nice to just hear, "You did a great job." I don't say this from personal experience because I have an amazing husband who is an amazing father. I say this knowing he does it all the time. He's always great about saying, "You were amazing today." He does it without me having to ask for it and there's something so beautiful about not fishing for that compliment from your partner that gives you that much more of stability and confidence.
For most of us, starting off in the morning, your iPhone wakes you up, you immediately start checking emails or texts or whatever, and you're up and running until you go to bed.
If your partner is angry with you, recognize that his anger is a misdirected plea for love. Your partner's simply upset because he feels something you said or did was a sign of not loving him enough.
It"s good to keep wide-open ears and listen to what everybody else has to say, but when you come to make a decision, you have to weigh all of what you"ve heard on its own, and place it where it belongs, and come to a decision for yourself; you"ll never regret it. But if you form the habit of taking what someone else says about a thing without checking it out for yourself, you"ll find that other people will have you hating your friends and loving your enemies.
If you can do any favor for yourself, if you want to understand yourself, if you really want to build anything for yourself, try to make a plan to have a cozy home and a cozy partner. When even God may leave you, your partner should not-that kind of partner; a partner who does not know how to part. If your partner knows that he can part, he does not yet have the power to unite.
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