A Quote by Don Rickles

I told jokes badly.

Don Rickles

Quote Topics

Badly Jokes Old Jokes

Quote Author

Don Rickles
American - Comedian
May 8, 1926 - April 6, 2017

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.

Lee Trevino

I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. So I told jokes twice. I even told that one twice.

Mitch Hedberg

I'm not good with jokes, no. I don't know a joke at all. I like being told jokes, but I can't tell one myself.

James DeGale

The jokes I was always attracted to, and that I would tell for the longest, were jokes where I cared about the subject. Whenever I wrote a joke where I didn't care, even if it was really funny, the third time I told it, it would lose steam.

W. Kamau Bell

I met the guy who started off the whole Babuji jokes. I removed my chappal the moment I saw him. But that was all for fun. I told him that he has done what I couldn't do in my 50-year career. I wanted to see the man who had the gall to crack such jokes.

Alok Nath

I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.

Drew Carey

Given the choice between trivial material brilliantly told versus profound material badly told, an audience will always choose the trivial told brilliantly.

Robert McKee

I use mother-in-law jokes, kid jokes, tax jokes - anything that works.

Nipsey Russell

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.

Fred Allen

People would say, "Oh, you say you just do jokes." I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.

Stephen Colbert

I've never really told jokes. I'm not good at it.

David E. Kelley

I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and I have no venue. So right now, I'm just dry Trumping.

Stephen Colbert

I've behaved badly in my life. I hope I haven't behaved as badly as Dickens! In a way, if you're a woman, you're not in a position to behave as badly, because you don't have the economic power.

Claire Tomalin

I had a moment where I was onstage once... As a comedian, you just think, 'Be funny as possible all the time - like, funny at all costs - jokes, jokes, jokes.' That's how my mentality was.

Whitney Cummings

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.