A Quote by Doug Stanhope
If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it.
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It's crazy. I don't know how I'm not dead. People think I'm going to get punched in the face: "Something terrible is going to happen to you. You're going to get killed." That's not what's going to kill me. The show is going to kill me. The work is going to kill me. Once I'm on the street, I'm not worried about that.
What am I always going to do? I'm going to go home and freak out.I'm going to sit with my family and try not to talk about myself and what's wrong. Im going to try and eat. Then I'm going to try and sleep. I dread it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?
Everyone in their career is going to go through a slump, but the thing is how you react to it. You're either going to talk about it or you're going to try to shoot your way out of it and I'm going to try to shoot my way out of it.
So, yeah, I'm going to try to win the national championship next year. But I'm not going to kill myself doing it. I'm not going to kill my players either. You really start to realize there's a lot more to what we're trying to do then winning games
If I talk about my father's funeral, as I did when I was promoting the last novel, 'Being Dead,' I'm not going to tell any lies, but there are certain things I'm not going to tell you, and I'm certainly not going to tell my grief.
If you've gotten yourself into a situation when Clay Aiken is going to talk about his feelings with you, it's time to kill yourself.
A guy's calling to say he's failing algebra II. Just as a point of practice, I say, Kill yourself. A woman calls and says her kids won't behave. Without missing a beat, I tell her, Kill yourself. A man calls to say his car won't start. Kill yourself. A woman calls to ask what time the late movie starts. Kill yourself. She asks, "Isn't this 555-1327? Is this the Moorehouse CinePlex? I say, Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.
There's always talk about going out on top, unfortunately for me that means going out on a loss but it's going out at the highest level. I'm happily satisfied and it makes a lot of sense to me.
But I'm going to try to tell the truth. Except for the parts I'm leaving out, because there's still stuff I'm just not going to tell you. Get used to it.
I said in 2004,in fact a group was sent to me from the White House to try talk to me, because I was getting a lot of publicity.I said it in 2004, you're going to destabilize the Middle East, Iran is going to take over Iraq... and somebody else is going to help and that turned out to be ISIS. It's an exact.
No one is going to tell me how I need to think. No one is going to tell me who I can, and cannot, talk to.
And you get into that sort of cannibalistic feeling - all you want to do is go out there and, like I say, kill somebody. I'm going to get him. I'm going to kill'em. Not like you are going to put them into the ground after, but you just want to kill a guy.
And here I thought you were actually going to behave yourself," he said. "It's going to get worse if they don't keep their hands off you." "I suppose you're going to tell me now that only you have the right to touch me." "I see we understand each other.
I came upon a child of god, He was walking along the road And I asked him, where are you going And this he told me: "I'm going on down to Yasgur's farm I'm going to join in a rock 'n' roll band I'm going to camp out on the land, I'm going to try an' get my soul free.
Don't label me before we get a chance to talk about it. Talk to me first and see what kind of person I am. That's what I like to tell the media: Come talk to me, let's sit down and talk about what's really going on.
I'm a very private person. I barely tell my friends what's going on half the time, so the idea that I should then talk to the world about what is going on seems anathema to me. People can say what they want. I'm not going to change anyone's mind.
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