A Quote by Doug Stanhope
[Stand-up] might be ballsy, but I'd rather not be an actor. Actors are tools.
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I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being an actor. We give Oscars to people and it's like, 'Aw, this person is the greatest person on earth', but being an actor is pretty easy in comparison to stand-up comedy. It's no surprise that several stand-up comics have gone on to become great actors. I don't know any great actors that have gone on to become great stand-up comics.
Actors aren't fighters. They don't know how to throw a punch. So, there's a lot of hitting in the face. I'd much rather fight with a stuntman than another actor. I don't like fighting with other actors because somebody always ends up getting hurt.
I'm just more attracted to actors. I like their choice to be artists - that's ballsy. And a guy who has such access to his emotional life is sexy. Or maybe because lots of the actors I know are so broken. I don't think I'm compatible with anybody I've dated. Maybe I'm so attracted to actors because I'm not ready for the 'settled down' thing yet.
It is not an actor's business to suggest changes. Actors are tools. They must just do whatever the director asks them to.
I'm ballsy. Well, sometimes I'm ballsy.
I would like to be able to be both a film actor and a stage actor - to be an American actor in the style of a lot the English actors who do films. They are these wonderful actors who can do everything.
But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up.
I find the concept of intelligent design rather dishonest. One should openly stand up for the existence of Allah, should sincerely stand up for religion, for Islam. Or, if one is a Christian, one should honestly stand up for Christianity.
Sometimes, during a shoot, an actor might fail to turn up or there might be a need for an actor for a scene... and then if the director asks me, I step in front of the camera.
American actors are very different to British actors who have generally studied and been brought up culturally with the sense that the writer is the star and that their job is to serve the writing. Whereas Hollywood actors are brought up to believe that the actor is the star, and everything and everybody is in the service of them.
In stand-up you can go either way. It's live. Somebody might say something in the crowd, you might respond to it. But in a movie you could be spontaneous too. But you pretty much have to stick to that story or that scene or that script, but in stand-up you can go wherever you want to. It's more freedom.
As an actor, depending on who you are, you might be stopped on the street and might not get all the privacy you want, but I'd rather have that than no human connection whatsoever.
I've always been quite mature because of the way my parents brought me up. They were very good at talking to me like a person rather than a baby, and I was around so many actors and directors from such a young age because my dad is an actor. I was more comfortable with adults rather than actually being an adult child.
Actors are dumb when they get insecure of their co-stars. A lot of actors do. When there is a good actor, they're like, 'Oh, he's eating up the part.' That's stupid.
I don't know. You know, when I'm not acting, I'm not an actor. I'm just a person. That's how I go through life. I'd rather not - you know, like a lot of actors, you know, they spend their whole 24 hours a day being an actor.
When we stand up and we sing O Canada, we pledge to stand on guard for thee. If that doesn't include our water, we might as well sit down and give up.
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