A Quote by Elayne Boosler

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. — © Elayne Boosler
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
I'd rather never have been married than been divorced a few times. Not that there's anything wrong with divorce, but I don't think I could do it if that was a possibility.
Larry King has been married more times than Henry the Eighth. We used to have that rhyme to keep track of them. 'Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.' With Larry I think it goes, 'Divorced, beheaded, divorced, escaped. Zombie, lesbian, disappeared, inflatable.
My mother never married my father. She was married to and divorced from another man, then she married and divorced my stepfather and then, ultimately, they ended up getting back together.
Getting divorced didn't sour me on the institution of marriage. I'll tell you what I'll never do: I'll never get divorced again.
I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
I must tell you that I should really like to think there's something wrong with me- Because, if there isn't, then there's something wrong with the world itself-and that's much more frightening! That would be terrible. So I'd rather believe there is something wrong with me, that could be put right.
People make assumptions when you're not married. I've been best man at five weddings and I said I'd never do it again 'cos everyone got divorced.
I'm a really smart player. If you tell me something, I get it quickly. If there is something wrong with my hitting, tell me what's wrong and I'll pick it up right away. That's the best thing I have going for me, my ability to listen to a coach and fix what I'm doing wrong.
I've been married to the same woman for forty years, and whenever people ask us how we managed to stay married for so long, we usually say as one voice, 'What's the secret? Don't get divorced!'
Kids today don't want to get married. Too many of their friends have been married and divorced already. They just don't believe in it.
Kids today don't want to get married. Too many of their friends have been married and divorced already. They just don't believe in it
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.
If we can survive being married and working on a soap together, commuting back and forth when we lived in New Jersey, and we didn't get divorced then, we're never gonna get divorced.
I've been married, divorced; I've been the baby momma, the side piece and the secret... all of these things. I share it in an effort to make people better.
Something I've learned is that when people tell me I can't do something, I immediately wonder why and then think it through. It only makes me more motivated to prove them wrong.
To say that a family is happy I think is to diminish it, taking out what is interesting. Growing up, I don't think my family was any happier or unhappier than anyone else's. My mother and father should have been divorced or never even married. On the other hand, I remember many moments of happiness.
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