A Quote by Ellen DeGeneres
I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!
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I honestly realized that my dad was white when someone told me in middle school. They're like, 'Oh your dad's white?' I'm like, 'Oh, my gosh, he really is white.' I knew what race was, but it didn't matter to me.
I remember my first meeting with Guillermo Del Toro - he couldn't have been warmer, but I always had a kind of immaturity about me dealing with people that were in charge. Not really knowing how to conduct myself. And I got on the floor and curled up into a ball under a desk, which is so weird - as I was doing it, I was like, "Oh, my god, you're a freak. Get up. What are you doing?" And I looked at him like, "I'm so sorry," and he's like, "No, it's natural. Why wouldn't you want to do that?" He's just the most giving person and made me feel not like a freak.
I was at a restaurant in Glasgow, and I was walking down the stairs. A woman passed me and said, 'Oh my God, what are you doing here?' I didn't know who she was, and I was like, 'Sorry?' She goes, 'Oh no, sorry, I follow you on Twitter. I just didn't expect to see you here.'
I remember being, like, 5 years old, and my dad took me to a Yankees-Mets game. My dad had me on his shoulders and taught me one of the most important lessons about sports. He said, 'Jesse, just remember one thing, the Mets suck.'
I thought my dad was a scientist when I was young. Seriously. Because people would come up to me, and they would be like, 'Your dad is the smartest person that I've ever met.' And I was so young, so I'd be like, 'Well he just put me on a time out, so I don't agree.'
My parents preached so much about Christianity and my mother thinks Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to the world - which he is - and God found a way of making examples for me. Like, just growing up, bullets would hit my partner but not me and I'd be right there. Or my Dad had a thing where he would make me play for the sorry team during football and make me go up against all my friends. It built a certain kind of character and a humble factor into me because I knew I had to work for it. And then to be able to beat them or be just as successful at so many things.
Oh we battled. Dad would beat me every time. I don't think I ever beat my dad in 1-on-1. I'd cry in front of my friends, everything. That didn't matter to him. He kept on beating me anyway. He was so competitive.
I think a lot of writers spend years just getting up the courage to write because it seems like such a fantasy of a profession. My dad saved me all that time by making me think, 'Oh, anyone can be a writer. It's like being a firefighter or a lawyer.'
The writing process is more... it becomes a case of more like a diary for me. I mean, I write stuff down all day whenever I'm experiencing something that I think would be important for me to look at later on. You know, whether it be for writing lyrics or just for a memory, like, 'Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I was feeling that way at that time'.
I think I said something mean when I was little, and my mother snapped on me. I was just like, 'I'm sorry!' I could relate. If I had cursed out my dad, I probably would be just waking up.
I remember telling my second-graders the basic 'Metamorphosis' story, saying, like, 'What about - what if a guy woke up one morning and he was a bug? Wouldn't that be weird?' And they loved that. And I think that was the trigger that made me think, like, 'Oh man, here's my audience. They're just a lot shorter than I ever thought they might be.'
I like Daniel. He takes care of you." I blinked. "Oh my God. Did you really just say that? He takes care of me?" Dad flushed. "I didn't mean it like-" "Takes care of me? Did I go to sleep and wake up in the nineteenth century?" I looked down at my jeans and T-shirt. "Ack! I can't go to school like this. Where's my corset? My bonnet?" Dad sighed as Mom walked in with her empty teacup. "What did I miss?" She said. "Dad's trying to marry me off to Daniel." I looked at him. "You know, if you offer him a new truck for a dowry, he might go for it.
What happened to me is I gained a little weight so I could be more accessible to people. They're not like, 'Oh my God, he's, like, a male model comedian; yuck, ugh.' It's like, 'Oh, he's a little squishy; He's like me. He's accessible.' And girls are like, 'Look how cuddly he is. I just want to cuddle up in his neck fat and go to sleep.'
Kids will tell me 'oh I want to be like you when I grow up,' you know. I just thought 'nah, don't be like me, be like you,' because first of all they don't really know me but second of all I understand what they're trying to say but I just let them know - be like you.
I was on set [Romeo + Juliet] maybe an hour for two days. It was in this big cathedral in Mexico City. I just remember being up there in the balcony, and it was myself up front and there was a choir behind me. In front of me was this rail, like this cement rail, and I was like, "Oh my gosh!" Because I was a kid then, and I'm like, "We're kinda high ... I hope I don't flip over," because I'm very clumsy.
Because my mum and dad brought me up to believe that people are different but equal. And that I should treat everyone, no matter who, with the same respect I'd like to be shown.
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