A Quote by Emo Philips
I grew up in an era when strange adults would grab me on the street and say: 'Don't do that.' You never see that these days. 'Hi, we took the liberty of spanking your son.' Oh thanks, my hand was getting worn.
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I've never not felt Maori, ever. And because of the era I grew up in, I was never not seen as that. I would walk down the street with Mum and Dad and people would say, 'Look, there's a little Maori girl.'
I was born in Owerri and grew up in the east of Nigeria, in Imo state. You could say I was a 'street boy': we grew up on the street, played on the street, did everything out on the street. It was a difficult life altogether, but that's how we grew up.
I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?
When people say hello to me, I feel like maybe I know them from somewhere, because they say, like, 'Hi! How are you?' And I'm like, 'Oh, hi!' And then I realize, 'Oh, no, they just think they know me because they watched me in a movie.' Which is cool, but definitely not a normal thing.
I once picked up a woman from a garbage dump and she was burning with fever; she was in her last days and her only lament was: My son did this to me. I begged her: You must forgive your son. In a moment of madness, when he was not himself, he did a thing he regrets. Be a mother to him, forgive him. It took me a long time to make her say: I forgive my son. Just before she died in my arms, she was able to say that with a real forgiveness. She was not concerned that she was dying. The breaking of the heart was that her son did not want her. This is something you and I can understand.
I'll see a beautiful girl walking up to me and I'll think, Oh, my God, I can't believe my good luck. But then she'll say, 'Where's your son?' or 'My mother loves you'.
Let me demonstrate. When you greet a friend this is the duration of the kiss that's acceptable. "Hi, good to see you - yeah." When you make a mistake and stay too long at the lips, this is how long it is. "Hi, how are you? Good to see you." And that's what happened. It was like, "Uh-oh, what was that? Oh."
You know, people always warn children about taking candy from strange adults. But they never warn us adults about taking candy from strange children. All those sweet-looking kids who sell boxes of candy bars on the street to help pay for schooling - how do we know what's in those bars? And don't even get me stated on that nefarious institution designed to lure unsuspecting customers into buying mysterious frosted goodies: the bake sale. Adults, be warned: if a child wanted to poison you it would be a piece of cake! Literally a piece of cake.
I would walk into a room at a young age and I'd say, 'Hi, Dad,' and he would say, 'SON, PROJECT YOUR VOICE. LET THEM KNOW YOU'RE IN THE ROOM. SHOULDERS BACK. CHEST OUT.'
I have a strange fascination with the Midwest. I'm waiting to find out that my parents are actually from the Midwest. I grew up in Beverly Hills, up the street, and I just feel comfortable there. I've shot in Minneapolis, in Detroit, in St. Louis, in Omaha - they would say they're the Plains, not the Midwest - and I love it.
Seeing my son getting roughed up by the police is not fun. It brings back memories of when I got roughed up by them. He grew up totally different than how I grew up, and to me, he shouldn't have to go through that.
In high school, I got picked on. It's funny that I got tormented for what I'm doing now - the acting thing. People would see me in a Nickelodeon commercial, and I would hear about it the next day at school. Kids would say, 'Hi, TV Boy.' They heckled. I never got beat up.
I was a street guy. I mean, I grew up in an Italian neighborhood with mob guys around. Where I grew up, you gambled, you shot dice, you played cards, you went to the track. So the mob to me was not strange, it was not like I was an F.B.I. agent from Salt Lake City.
Mubarak would meet with me when I was at Central Command. He would lean and put his hand on my knee, as if a father figure, and say, 'General, don't ever forget the Arab Street. Listen to the Arab Street.' I'd like to go to him now and say, 'Mr. President, what about that Arab Street, what's that all about?'
I remember when I met my wife and that she could just grab my hand and I would just ease. I don't know how to say that but it was one of the coolest things. It was strange, but it definitely changed my life.
I know some people say that high fashion should not be worn at synagogue. I, on the other hand, think that it is of the utmost importance that the Goldbergs from down the street see you in the new Chanel Fall 2010 Yom Kippur line.
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