A Quote by Emraan Hashmi
Somehow, I always knew I would get married by the time I was 27. Even in college, I had this weird thing in my head that I would get married when I was 27, and hopefully my career would be stable, and I'll have kids by 30. And that's exactly what has happened.
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To start your working life after you've graduated from school and university, it takes you a long time to get started in the real world. Today, kids are not out into the workforce until 27 or 30 years of age. By the time I was 30, I had six kids and 60 trucks.
So often, we blame other people when, really, the problem is right down in here. I'm not happy. I don't know what's wrong. If I just had another job, I could be happy. If I just get married, I would be happy. Well if I just wasn't married, I would be happy. Well, if I just had some kids, I'll be happy. I'll be happy when these kids finally grow up and get out of here. If I had a bigger house, I would be happy. Well, I got a big house. Now if I just had a maid to clean, I'd be happy. Well, now if I just had a maid I could get along with better, I'd be happy.
I went to college when I was 27, and somehow, between high school and college, I became obsessed with getting A's. I can tell you exactly how many non-A's I had, and tell you honestly that I cried every time!
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble.
I don't want to be married. I don't know - it sounds crazy, but in my mind, it's all connected. You get married, you have kids, you grow old, then you die. Somehow, it seems to me, if you didn't get married, you wouldn't die.
Generally, in Gujarati families, people get married early, and all my friends are married with two kids. My father had told me, 'If you do not find a right partner, do not get married'; that's the advice he has always given me. So, I will never compromise in my marriage.
But I would say, you know, if you're getting married - why are you getting married? Why would you get married? Why would anybody get married?
I remember being one of those women who never imagined I would get married and have children. You ask any of my high school friends, and I would have been voted in the class to be the least likely to get married or have children.
It's quite ironic that at many interviews I have had professionals telling me that 'I don't look married because I don't dress like a married woman!' It's shattering as I never knew being married came with apparels that would define one's marital status!
At times, my parents said, "Let's get the child married," and I said a big no. Impossible. How could I be with a woman? I told them, "If you try to get me married, I'll get myself castrated and commit suicide." It was the best weapon. They were shocked, and they knew that if I decided, I would do it. I was selfish. I just wanted to live my life.
I was not always someone who wanted to get married or thought I would get married, so being a true writer, I was always navel-gazing: 'What are good marriages? What are bad marriages?'
My family was, I think, a bit more radical than most Mormons, especially on the question of gender. So in my mind, growing up, there wasn't ever any question of what my future would look like. I would get married when I was 17 or 18. And I would be given some corner of the farm, and my husband would put a house on it, and we would have kids.
Even though I was 27 when I left, I still was largely treated like a child, because I wasn't married. My parents, my mother specifically, knew where I was and what I was doing at all times.
I always vowed I would never get married because no marriage in my family had worked, really. But you get to a place in your relationship where you're like, 'OK, it's time.'
I never thought Cathy would get married in the comic strip. And I also thought I would never get married in real life. So both are shocks to me.
My family didn't have a lot of money, so I worked my heart out to get my degrees. But the minute I graduated, suddenly everyone was asking me, 'Well, when are you going to get married and start having kids?' And the truth is I had no idea how I would balance the expected role of wife and mother with a challenging career.
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