A Quote by Erica Fernandes
After having acted in films down south, I always wanted to work on the small screen but couldn't say yes to everything that was being offered to me.
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I got a lot of offers after 'Rockstar' but was totally dependent on the team managing my work, who did not want me to sign any of the films I was offered, even though I wanted to.
I was offered my first film right after my 10th board exams. Back then, I didn't even know they made films in the South. Films, I thought, were either in Hindi or English.
I wanted to become a director before I wanted to become a writer. When I was 10, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said, 'Walt Disney.' I wanted to make films. But I wasn't offered a camera. I was offered language. So I started telling stories in the theatre and then in my novels.
I acted in 'Aap Kaa Surroor,' which did well. But after that, films didn't work for me.
My entry into films was forced, and I always had an affinity towards academics. Having said that, it is the artiste within that urged me to say yes to acting.
I used to get 2000 as pocket money, and I was being offered a car and an opportunity to make lakhs, so I said a yes. I was a kid and got homesick over my 40-day schedule in Bangalore and decided that I would only do films in the South if they were 10-day roles.
When you say was it you being silly or letting yourself go, or is it you being intense? I would say it was me being me. I would say that me being me is probably yes to all of that. So having fun, playing with passion, it matters to me, competitive.
I've always been into films. I've been offered lots of films but they've always been these very stereotypical roles. They wanted me to play some gangster or street guy, or pimp, drug addict.
Down South, I have predominantly acted in typical candy-floss films, where I have played cheerful college-girl roles with songs and romantic scenes.
Before the code, women on screen took lovers, had babies out of wedlock, got rid of cheating husbands, enjoyed their sexuality, held down professional positions without apologizing for their self-sufficiency, and in general acted the way many of us think woman acted only after 1969.
It was very important for me to work in an office environment because I wanted the knowledge and experience of working in a team. That would help me as a human being. But I have always wanted to do films. It was instinctive.
This is a wrong notion that I work in big budget films. Infact, usually low budget films are offered to me, they come and say it's a good story but they don't have the money.
I have always wanted to do Gujarati films but I wasn't offered any good films.
'Mahadev' got me most recognition. But I have to say that post 'Kyunki'... I was offered everything under the sun. Being an outsider, who didn't have to work too hard, I was overwhelmed.
I wanted to play roles which offered new ways of viewing black women and black people in general- and I have done that. And I have always, whether I needed to pay the rent or not, I've always turned down roles which I thought were stereotypical. And so when I look at my body of work in that respect, I am really happy. Because I feel my work does say something positive and that was what I always set out to do.
When you do improv, you're everything. You're a performer, writer, and director, because you're moving the scene in the direction you want it to go, you're making it up as you go, and you're acting it. You're all of those things, so I always viewed myself that way. And with the films I've done, I've written on them, I've acted in some of them. And even ones I haven't acted in, I've acted them out just to be sure another actor can do them.
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