A Quote by Eugene Mirman

High School: Oh, man. This is where boys and girls go from tweens to teens and become complicated and cruel. Girls play sick mind games; boys try to pull each other's penises off and throw them in the bushes. If you can, buy the most expensive jeans in a two-hundred-mile radius of your town and wear them on your first day. If anyone asks how you could afford them say that your father is the president of Ashton Kutcher. When they are like, 'Ashton Kutcher has a president?' answer, 'Yes.' Everyone will be in awe of you and you won't have to go through a lot of pain and cat fights.

Eugene Mirman

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Eugene Mirman
American - Comedian
Born: July 24, 1974

I will say this, though, in regards to laundry. I'll say, "Do you need to wear a new pair of jeans every day?" We've worked on this for the past year and he [Ashton Kutcher] now doesn't need to wear a clean pair of jeans every day. My laundry has gotten cut down immensely.

Mila Kunis

I feel like Hollywood is a big high school again. Seriously, Ashton Kutcher is the prom king.

Adam Brody

I went to an all-boys high school, and they accepted girls in only the two A.P. classes. They had these archaic rules: for example, girls couldn't wear makeup. I found it so outrageous that an all-boys school could tell girls to not wear makeup! So I went on a campaign. I got a petition signed and everything. If a girl wants to wear makeup to boost confidence, why not?

Lupita Nyong'o

Yes, I like girls; Yes, I like boys; I like boys who like boys; I like girls who wear toys and girls who don't; I like girls who don't call themselves girls; Crew cuts or curls or that really bad hair phase in between.

Andrea Gibson

I always say there's no more little girls, just boys with breasts. Girls act like boys nowadays. Teenage girls, they go after boys. They're predatory just like boys. My goal is to keep my girls, girls.

Chris Rock

I think girls from a young age know what they want, and boys kind of have to keep up and catch up to them. Even in kindergarten, girls are pretty much the ones that like the boy first and the boys are like, 'Oh, I want to play with my trucks.' They think it's not cool. I think girls are definitely more ahead than boys.

Madeline Carroll

I don't know that a lot of boys read 'Rookie', but we get quite a few nice comments and e-mails from them. To say I'm devoted to making it girls-only is a little extreme, because I don't actively try to exclude everyone else, just make sure girls know that this space is for them first and foremost.

Tavi Gevinson

I think Trent Baretta looks like Ashton Kutcher.

Matt Striker

I try to have a balance of things you like and things you don't like about a character. But once you start that, all these scripts are like, "You play the douchebag friend of Ashton Kutcher." It's all these characters that are overconfident or hyper-masculine.

Jemaine Clement

Look at the way celebrities and politicians are using Facebook already. When Ashton Kutcher posts a video, he gets hundreds of pieces of feedback. Maybe he doesn't have time to read them all or respond to them all, but he's getting good feedback and getting a good sense of how people are thinking about that and maybe can respond to some of it.

Mark Zuckerberg

I think it's good for the fans, as well, because they get to connect with you directly. You know, in the old days, if I wanted to, like, write to (Steven) Spielberg or Sam Raimi or whatever, I'm not sure I could actually write a fan mail and (I'd) have no idea where to actually send it. Nowadays, you can just, like, follow Ashton (Kutcher who still has among the most followers on Twitter) or, like, friend someone, you know, on Facebook, and you can actually just say, "Hey, I like your stuff."

James Wan

I've always got on better with boys. Most of my friends are boys. Like, if I have children, I want five boys. Boys love their mothers whereas girls can be so mean to each other.

Adele

I do feel that the boys are getting left out. Girls will read boys' books, but boys won't read girls' books. If you're writing for a girl, you've got most of the audience on your side anyway.

S. E. Hinton

Most film productions, when they're based at a place, they get, like, a 30-mile radius or a 30-minute radius to get out of the town. And once you go past that, your day starts to become shorter, and you have to start paying your drivers more, and everybody just gets paid more, and you have less time to shoot, and everything costs more.

Jeff Nichols

I like to buy girls shoes and jewelry. I buy stupidly expensive shoes. I got Louboutins for my mom and my girlfriend before. My mom was like, 'I can't wear these; they're too high.' I was like, 'Mom, you have to try them - they're so cool. They're red snakeskin!' She still wears them every so often, but she can't walk in them.

Ansel Elgort

There is scarcely a town or school in Russia from which boys have not run away to the war. Hundreds of girls have gone off in boys' clothes and tried to pass themselves off as boys and enlist as volunteers, and several have got through, since the medical examination is only a negligible formality required in one place, forgotten in another.

Stephen Graham

A Quote by Eugene Mirman

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