A Quote by Evan Osnos
I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.
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Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean.
Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.
You can't put toilet paper in the toilet [in the space ship], so there's a separate vacuum can in front of you on the wall and when you're done, you put the toilet paper in there and seal that up.
One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?
House Republicans are flimsier than toilet paper, except toilet paper actually has use. They're so pathetic.
We buy our own toilet paper even here in the White House.
There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.
Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.
When you look at the sheer volume of paper usage in the U.S. alone, it's truly frightening: paper towels, toilet paper, napkins, writing paper. Our consumption of trees is endless.
When I was on the swim team as a kid, I used to hide out from my coach by going into the bathroom and hiding out in one of the stalls. And I would literally wrap myself in toilet paper so as not to get hypothermia.
When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.
It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.
I live with three boys, and I can't tell you how hard it is to get your hands on toilet paper. They steal it.
If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.
When I have an idea, I share it with everyone. People say someone will steal my idea, but it's not like I invented something that will replace the toilet. I tell people to get their feedback. Will they buy it, help me improve it, or tell me it's already been done? If someone else is excited, he or she might buy into the business.
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