A Quote by Evelyn Waugh
Then I knew that the sign I had asked for was not a little thing, not a passing nod of recognition, and a phrase came back to me from my childhood of the veil of the temple being rent from top to bottom.
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It's one thing to never accomplish anything. You start from the bottom, you remain at the bottom, and all you know is the bottom. When you start at the bottom and you get to the top, and you feel the success and the notoriety and the recognition from being the champion, and you go back to losing, that's a tough place to be in.
When Jesus died on the cross the veil in the temple was torn from top to bottom so that big sinners like me might fit through.
Then Jesus changed the situation. When he paid for our sins on the cross, the veil in the temple that symbolized our separation from God was split from top to bottom, indicating that direct access to God was once again available.
Being that I went to jail and came back, I went through a whole new experience in life. I went from being at the top to back down at the bottom again. In jail, you get stripped of your freedom and everything, so I experienced different things, learned more.
It's like being possessed: like a psychic or a medium. I felt like a hollow temple filled with many spirits, each one passing through me, each inhabiting me for a little time and then leaving to be replaced by another.
I've had jeans I liked a lot of things about, but then there would be one thing I didn't like, whether it was the bottom not being fitted enough or the top squeezed you too much.
My friend Madea has "attitude" that comes with wisdom. Back in our teens and twenties, we thought we knew everything and made all those foolish mistakes. Then, when we got a little older, at thirty, we started getting these flashes of light, revelations of what a great and lucky thing it is that we didn't get caught doing those stupid things back then. Around forty, if we are lucky, we stop lying to ourselves. Fifty and above, we've run out of patience for foolishness. Take me to the bottom line.
I nod to a passing stranger, and the stranger nods back, and two human beings go off, feeling a little less anonymous.
A very beautiful young woman once asked me to sign her breasts. That was back when I was a hip young thing - it's been all downhill since then.
For me, the first thing I fell madly in love with when I was little, was, Gilda Radner had this live performance that she had done at the Met that was on tape, and I could rent it from Video Video in New Jersey where I lived, and so I literally would rent it every two weeks.
When you are at the bottom, you find beauty in such little things, and goodness in such little gestures. When I compare any struggle today to ones that I may have had in my childhood, there is nothing that can bring me down.
John Wesley tells of a dream he had. In the dream, he was ushered to the gates of Hell. There he asked, "Are there any Presbyterians here?" "Yes!", came the answer. Then he asked, "Are there any Baptists? Any Episcopalians? Any Methodists?" The answer was Yes! each time. Much distressed, Wesley was then ushered to the gates of Heaven. There he asked the same question, and the answer was No! "No?" To this, Wesley asked, "Who then is inside?" The answer came back, "There are only Christians here."
I used to do my own make-up. I used to have this doll that had those big eyelashes on the top and bottom, and I think I copied her when I was doing my eyes, putting false eyelashes on the bottom as well as the top. So I came up with that look myself.
I remember being young and people passing me things under the bathroom to sign, like under the stall. Like adults. We were shooting at Disney World, and my mom went with me to the bathroom, and an adult woman came in and under the stall was like, "Can you sign this?" And I remember my mom being like, "Have you lost your mind? What is wrong with you? You don't do that! She is a child and you don't do that to anyone!" Who thinks that is a good idea? Someone.
I can't imagine pain greater than stepping across the veil and realizing I had not done what I came here to do - or realizing that I had given up my life to little or nothing, only then to find that it was gone. p 3
Modernism had two great wishes. It wanted its audience to be led toward a recognition of the social reality of the sign (away from the comforts of narrative and illusionism, was the claim); but equally it dreamed of turning the sign back to a bedrock of World/Nature/Sensation/Subjectivity which the to and fro of capitalism had all but destroyed.
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