A Quote by Fionn Whitehead
I'm not really a green juice kind of guy. I like feeling downtrodden and worthless when I walk around London and have someone click their tongue at me and tell me to speed up.
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You can tell when someone is just trying to use you. It becomes just someone who's hanging around. Whenever someone sucks up to me, it never goes anywhere because I'm too boring a guy.
I've seen the Tortilla Guy hashtag when I'm going through my Instagram and all of that and I think it's pretty funny. It's weird because I've met this guy before, I know who he is, but he's really kind of elusive, even around our camp. I've had some people tell me, 'Don't tell us who he is. We're having fun trying to figure it out!'
I wouldn't want my daughters to date a guy like me. I was dangerous around women in my twenties. I'm terrified that they might end up with someone like me.
The only time I've ever been mistaken for someone else is - and this arguable still - when a person came up to me on the boardwalk of Ocean City, New Jersey and said, "You look a lot like that guy from computer ads" and I said, "There is a reason because I am that guy," and the guy looked at me for a minute, laughed and said, "That's a funny joke, but you really do look like him." He thought I was not me.
I have my own personal masticating juicer at home. I sort of picked it up from friends a few years ago, and it just gives me more energy. Mostly green juice. Spinach, celery, kale, green apples, lemon, sometimes ginger - you know, like, nasty, euuugghhhh!
I don't want my kids to be like me, I don't want my daughter to date a guy like me. You know, for a guy like me success is to take care of my children to take care of their life and make 'em cushioned. I don't want them to be around people like me. You know, success for me would be that they never have the opportunity of being in the presence of someone like me.
It was hard for me to believe. When recess was over I sat in class and thought about it. My mother had a hole and my father had a dong that shot juice. How could they have things like that and walk around as if everything was normal, and talk about things, and then do it and not tell anybody?
Tell me I didn't imagine it, Leo. Tell me that even though our bodies were in seperate states, our star selves shared an enchanted place. Tell me that right around noon today (eastern time) you had the strangest sensation: a tiny chill on your shoulder...a flutter in the heart...a shadow of strawberry-banana crossing your tongue...tell me you whispered my name.
I dress how I feel that day. If I'm feeling tired, you might see me in a hoodie. If I'm feeling like I want to dress up, you might see me in a button-down. I try to mix it up with my shoes, but I don't really look at it as competitive, like, 'I want to dress better than this guy.' I'm just myself.
I have definitely had guys walk up to me, put their arm around me, and when they walk away, my shoulder smells like taco meat.
I was not really worried about what people thought of me or how offensive my jokes were. I was just kind of saying whatever I wanted, and that gave me the reputation of being this crazy, loose cannon, you know, psycho guy. It still kind haunts me to this day. Like, 'Oh, Shane Dawson - that guy's nuts.'
Not part of any London combination and you have to go a long way from London really to... to throw that feeling off. So, it's right and fitting that the Beatles came from Liverpool. If they hadn't, I wouldn't have got involved. It wouldn't have interested me. And they wouldn't have hired me.
I'm not a celebrity, but when I walk into Hobbycraft and someone comes up to me to tell me how great one of our products is, it's a bit of a surreal experience.
Breakfast is a peaceful moment for me, so I never have the radio on, no music, no noise around. The only noise that is permitted is people's voices. It's a way for me to wake up without too much of a high speed feeling.
I've become the quintessential L.A. person, to an embarrassingly cliched level. I'm like, 'Let's go for a hike and get a green juice.' That's a perfect Saturday to me. I hate being that cliche but, damn, it's also really nice.
If it's something I feel I can do alright, I like being in those, and some that I think Rob Schneider and David Spade would be funnier at than me, I tell them to do it. I don't have any clue how we decide. There's this thing, this "Click", actually, one of my friends called me up, my partner told me about this idea that Steve Koren had. Steve Koren, by the way, the guy who wrote it with Mark O'Keefe, Steve Koren I've known since I was 22. He was a page at Saturday Night Live.
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