A Quote by Floyd Dell

I thought that jealousy was an idea. It isn't. It's a pain. But I didn't feel as they do in a Broadway melodrama. I didn't want to kill anybody. I just wanted to die.
I don't want to die in pain or in an undignified way, I don't want any of the people I love to die in, die painfully. But I'm aware of the fact that they may die before I do and I have to part with them and take the loss. The hardest thing of love is to let go. But I think I can get let go of almost anybody.
In depression, your capacity to feel just flattens and disappears and what you feel is pain and a kind of pain that you can't describe to anybody. So it's an isolating pain, a completely isolating pain.
I don't know and I don't care anymore. I was supposed to have my way for once, just once in my life. I did everything right and I got nothing for it. I want to kill them all. no, better yet, I want to die. No, even bettter than that: I want to kill them all then die.
I realize now I didn't really want to die. I just wanted to stop the hurt and pain.
A thousand times, when the train slowed or stopped, I thought of jumping off. I wanted to die in a ditch. I wanted to disappear. I wanted a different history and geography. In rhythm with the wheels I said I want I want I want I want I stayed on the train.
A lot can happen [because of the dysfunctional family]. People don't look at that. They think, "Oh, my kids are going to be fine. My kids are resilient." But at a certain point, the damage starts. They start to feel pain - and when they feel bad, they start to take painkillers. We want to kill the pain.
It's glamorous when a movie is released, but then you feel disconnected from it. Someone asked if it wouldn't be more glamorous for me being on Broadway rather than Off Broadway, but I thought, 'What's the difference?' The Orpheum is a smaller house, that's all. And there are no mikes, so you just talk louder.
And what I thought, every time I thought about my father, every time his name came up, was quite simply: I WANT TO KILL YOU. I wanted to be more mature, more reasonable, I wanted to have a big, fat, forgiving heart that could contain all this rage and still find room for kind, beneficent love, but I didn't have it in me. I just didn't.
I didn't really want to kill myself, it just made me feel better to know I could if I wanted to.
I just want to say to anybody out there who suffers with chronic pain, I feel you. It takes over your life. It affects you emotionally, mentally, physically.
I always wanted to be a Broadway star. That's actually what I wanted to be when I was a kid. I wanted to be the 19-year-old sensation on Broadway. It took a little bit longer than that.
When we have that scene where I shoot that huge machine gun, my first thought was "Why does anybody want this? What is the point of something like this?" I know some people feel powerful or whatever and I'm just like, " I feel like I want nothing to do with this."
I thought everybody had falsetto. And since I wasn't a schooled singer who studied with anybody, I just thought anybody who had a voice could do anything they wanted with their voice.
Making my Broadway debut was, in and of itself, just a dream come true. I've wanted to be on Broadway forever.
I think I was about 16 when I first figured I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be a fighter pilot before that, but then I thought I don't want to kill people so that ruled that out.
I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt but I was wrong.
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