A Quote by Frank Carson

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Frank Carson

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Bar Englishman Joke Kind Looks Says Some Them Walk

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Frank Carson
Irish - Comedian
November 6, 1926 - February 22, 2012

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

Frank Carson

I am not an Englishman, I was never an Englishman, and I don't ever want to be one. I am a Scotsman! I was a Scotsman and I will always be one.

Sean Connery

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Tommy Cooper

A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Muslim mullah all walk into a bar, and the bartender says: - What is this, a joke? - ?hurch is the only organization that exists primarily for the benefit of non-members.

C. S. Lewis

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Bill Bailey

The poor silly-clever Irishman takes off his hat to God's Englishman.

George Bernard Shaw

The only census of the senses, so far as I am aware, that ever before made them more than five, was the Irishman's reckoning of seven senses. I presume the Irishman's seventh sense was common sense; and I believe that the possession of that virtue by my countrymen-I speak as an Irishman.

Lord Kelvin

There's a joke in economics about the drunk who loses his keys in the street but only looks for them under the lightposts. When asked why, he says, 'because that's where the light is.' That's the problem with the deficit.

Christina Romer

My twitter fans are all pretty weird. A lot of them are kind of weirdly sexually aggressive. Some of them made me laugh and then I instantly tried to forget them, because I'd hate to find myself in a bar kind of drunk and accidentally use one.

Stephen Merchant

In my dealings with the press, I was like the guy who goes into the cathouse and the madam gets him prepared and looks at him and says, "Who are you going to satisfy with that?" And he looks back at her and says, "Me." That's kind of my sense of humor at times.

Bobby Knight

A transplanted Irishman, German, Englishman is an American in one generation. A transplanted African is not one in five!

Barbara Chase-Riboud

With some of the journalists, I've known them for years now, and I kind of consider them like my friends, so I always tend to joke around, and some people don't get it.

Naomi Osaka

A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.'

Foster Friess

Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?" "You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought I'd see the day." "Nah, I want to tell you this joke I heard." Keir nodded, patient. "Shoot." "Two Irish cops walk into a bar. The first cop says..." Rick's voice dropped. He said gruffly, "I love you. Come home." Keir managed to keep his voice steady. "What's the other cop say?" The sweetness of Rick's smile was like a kick in his chest. "That's what I'm here to find out, boyo.

Josh Lanyon

It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.

George Bernard Shaw

I don't drink coffee I take tea my dear, I like my toast done on one side. And you can hear it in my accent when I talk, I'm an Englishman in New York. See me walking down Fifth Avenue, a walking cane here at my side. I take it everywhere I walk, I'm an Englishman in New York. I'm an alien I'm a legal alien, I'm an Englishman in New York.

Sting

A Quote by Frank Carson

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