A Quote by Frank Carson

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.

Frank Carson

Quote Topics

Bed Did Gave Honour Kiss Lap Morning My Wife Out She Wife

Quote Author

Frank Carson
Irish - Comedian
November 6, 1926 - February 22, 2012

My father could be very strict, but very fair. His father was the same. We all respected my grandfather; he was the head of the clan. Every morning, we all had to say good morning and kiss his hand. But not me. I jumped on his lap and bit him.

Azzedine Alaia

Before you went to work this morning in the city, did you spend some time with your family? Did you kiss your wife and tell her that she's pretty?

Mac Davis

He put the box in Kahlan's lap. As she picked it up, she gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen. Before he even knew what he had done, he had leaned over and given Kahlan a quick kiss. Her eyes went wide, and she didn't kiss him back, but the feel of her lips shocked him into realizing what he had done. Oh. Sorry," he said. She laughed. "Forgiven.

Terry Goodkind

Annabel looked down. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't do this. Not yet. She couldn't face the man she'd kissed who happened to be the heir to the man she didn't want to kiss but whos she probably was going to marry. Oh yes, and she could not forget that if she did marry the man she didn't want to kiss, she was likely to provide him with a new heir, thus cutting off the man she did want to kiss.

Julia Quinn

I know one man who was impotent who gave AIDS to his wife and the only thing they did was kiss.

Pat Robertson

My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I make the bed every morning, but it's a queen size bed today, as opposed to a rack, you know, a small single bed, which I had in basic SEAL training.

William H. McRaven

When I told my wife she was lousy in bed - she went out - she got a second opinion.

Rodney Dangerfield

The doctor's wife wasn't a bad woman. She was sufficiently convinced of her own importance to believe that God actually did watch everything she did and listen to everything she said, and she was too taken up with rooting out the pride she was prone to feeling in her own holiness to notice any other failings she might have had. She was a do-gooder, which means that all the ill she did, she did without realizing it.

Diane Setterfield

Now give me a kiss, say you love me and off you go." "Sure, Aunt Lu," I said, and I gave her the kiss she wanted. Then I ran out and caught my bus. I didn't say I loved her. I guess I did. But asking someone to say they love you--and she always asked--is like buying yourself a birthday present. It's more than likely exactly what you want. But it must make you feel awfully sad to get it.

Avi

The first requisite for a good cup of coffee in the morning is to get your wife out of bed.

Evan Esar

I did not give Angie a French kiss. It was something simple and lovely. She was about to go off to Mexico to finish filming 'Original Sin' with Antonio Banderas. I congratulated her on the Oscar win and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. It was snapped and became a big thing.

James Haven

Never tell your wife she's bad in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.

Rodney Dangerfield

The kind of eyes that jumped from a woman's dreams right into her morning and made trouble in the marriage bed.

Ilona Andrews

The conventional parabola--sentiment, the touch of the hand, the kiss, the passionate kiss, the feel of the body, the climax in the bed, then more bed, then less bed, then the boredom, the tears and the final bitterness--was to him shameful and hypocritical.