A Quote by Gary Chapman
When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict. When we listen, understand, and respect each other's ideas, we can then find a solution in which both of us are winners.
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The way we respond to criticism pretty much depends on the way we respond to praise. If praise humbles us, then criticism will build us up. But if praise inflates us, then criticism will crush us; and both responses lead to our defeat.
People need to learn how to respond to each other's hatreds with love - which is what Jesus taught us, which is what Buddha came here to teach us, which is what Muhammad taught us, which is what all of the great spiritual masters who have ever walked among us who live at those highest energies taught us - responding to force with more force will just create more problems.
Conscience is the voice of the soul, the passions are the voice of the body. Is it astonishing that often these two languages contradict each other, and then to which must we listen? Too often reason deceives us; we have only too much acquired the right of refusing to listen to it; but conscience never deceives us; it is the true guide of man; it is to man what instinct is to the body; which follows it, obeys nature, and never is afraid of going astray.
I think that each of us is so much alike, and yet at the same time we are so different, and I have a feeling that if you encountered difficulty, and I with my age encountered the same difficulty, I would respond one way, and you would respond another. Neither would be right or wrong. It's just that each of us is courageous, and that's what I encourage, courage, and the courage to see, and the courage to say to oneself what one has seen. Don't be in denial.
Let us ask Mary to help us respond to violence, to conflict and to war, with the power of dialogue, reconciliation and love. She is our mother: may she help us to find peace; all of us are her children!
To those who accuse us of being populists, we respond that if this means listening to the people, then yes, we are!
The problem with using force in our lives is that we always create a counterforce. For example, If you're with a child and the child says, "I hate you," which is a very low energy, and you respond with, "I hate you too," you have lowered the collective energy that you are both in, and both of you will he weakened. Whereas, if you respond to, "I hate you," with love, which is what, instinctively, we know what to do, then we can dissolve and dissipate that hatred.
When you have a cop approaching your car with his hand on his gun, I know it may be protocol, but us being the people we are, you automatically feel as if you're a criminal. So where's the respect then? You probably won't respond the correct way. So how do we find a common ground then?
Unlike many other illnesses, what I find profoundly empowering about addressing loneliness is that the ultimate solution to loneliness lies in each of us. We can be the medicine that each other needs. We can be the solution other people crave. We are all doctors and we are all healers.
Listening is the key to total concentration. You listen as the character would listen, closing the door on everything else. Then you are ready to respond.
When God does a miracle somehow you have to respond. When God does things for you - maybe we don't deserve them and we can never really repay God but God really wants us to respond to them. He doesn't want us to stay the same. So, for us to respond to what God has done in our lives is probably the same way he would want anyone to do - "Just tell people what I've done for you and what you've seen and heard." That's what we're doing.
If you create something that is asking for people to respond as they're going to respond, you have to allow them to respond as they're going to respond. Some of the people are going to be uninterested and some people are going to be mad for some reason, which is their business. That's just the way the world is.
Apparently God makes us all different. Some of us are happy to respond to His individual touch on our lives by remaining individuals, and others of us are intimidated or frightened into trying to become like each other so that we have company, so that we don't feel so lonely.
Deep listening helps us to recognize the existence of wrong perceptions in the other person and wrong perceptions in us.
I want to write about the great and powerful thing that listening is. And how we forget it. And how we don't listen to our children, or those we love. And least of all - which is so important, too - to those we do not love. But we should. Because listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force...When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life.
Ty and I are extremely competitive. We don't go soft on each other. We push each other, which ultimately helps us both. We race against each other in everything we do, whether it's a foot race to the car when we go out to a restaurant at night or on the racetrack. It's in the back of my mind that he's on the track with me, but we're both competitive and want to win.
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