A Quote by George Carlin

The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.

George Carlin

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Bigger Cappuccino Complicated Double Dry Extra Gingerbread Half Huge Ice Light Low More Order Shot Soy Starbucks Sweet Vanilla Walk

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George Carlin
American - Comedian
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

Average Americans order nonfat decaf iced vanilla lattes at Starbucks and choose from 1,500 drawer pulls at The Great Indoors. Amazon gives every town a bookstore with 2 million titles, while Netflix promises 35,000 different movies on DVD. Choice is everywhere - liberating to some, but to others, a new source of stress.

Virginia Postrel

Half-caf, double-tall, non fat, whole-milk foam, bone-dry, half-pump mocha, half sugar in the raw, double cup, no lid, capp - to go.

Linda Evangelista

? top up position down The fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's an asshole, does he? Therefore, by realizing that I'm an asshole, I am in fact negating that very realization, am I not? Descartes's Asshole Axiom: I think I am; therefor I'm not one.

Jonathan Tropper

I know that asshole you were with in college --” “Can we leave that asshole out of it?” Please, gentlemen, one asshole at a time.

Josh Lanyon

If you're an asshole, you have an excuse for being an asshole because you're a junkie. But then once you give up the drugs, and you're still an asshole, that's problematic.

Jerry Stahl

A lot of times, that asshole behavior is a cover for deep insecurities, and sometimes the deeper the insecurities, the bigger the asshole.

Tommy Dewey

Don’t flirt, have sex, or engage in emotional affairs with your friends’ significant others. This shouldn’t need to be said, but it needs to be said. That significant other is an asshole, and you don’t want to be involved with an asshole who’s used goods. If you want to be with an asshole, get a fresh asshole of your very own. They are abundant.

Roxane Gay

I have a friend who actually told me that she'd rather be dead than be fat. This is a woman who, if I order a sandwich at lunch, she'll order a salad. If I order a salad, she'll order half a cantaloupe. If I order half a cantaloupe, she'll order a cup of coffee. This bizarre contest continues until she's down to sucking on a mint-flavored toothpick. At this rate, her preference for dying over being fat could be a reality sooner than she thinks.

Joy Behar

If I had means, I would like to spend half a year in Palestine in order to contemplate what has been, and half a year in Poland in order to preserve what remains.

Janusz Korczak

A chocolate cake can include almond praline or blackberry, and a vanilla one can have cinnamon, cappuccino, or pistachio... Each is distinctive, and I bake only to order.

Ron Ben-Israel

Oh, baby, this ain’t asshole. Trust me. There’s a whole keg of asshole I haven’t even begun to tap yet.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Bitten? You mean you're a-" "A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.

Cassandra Clare

Maybe God is an asshole...of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary.

Louis C. K.

When you talk like an asshole and look like an asshole, you're an asshole

John Lydon

I mean, I'm always happy if I have, like, humiliating asshole things that I did. I think: Oh good, that's a good story. Because if you write about humiliating asshole things other people do it doesn't work as well. I mean, you can, but you can get away with it better if you talk about what an asshole you are. It's much easier.

David Sedaris

Your half-caff double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis.

Eric Kripke

A Quote by George Carlin

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