A Quote by George Carlin

I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well. — © George Carlin
I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
Look at Satan. Created as an angel, grows up to be the Great Adversary. Hey, if you’re going to go on about genetics, you might as well say the kid will grow up to be an angel. After all, his father was really big in Heaven in the old days. Saying he’ll grow up to be a demon just because his dad became one is like saying a mouse with its tail cut off will give birth to tailless mice. No. Upbringing is everything. Take it from me.
They say, 'We will give you money, but we want you to play this or that.' And I always thought, 'If I'm going to do that, I might as well go back and be a dishwasher.'
So we might say that the most important thing one can acquire in college is a well-functioning bullshit meter.
I often ask people if they would like to give their organs when they pass on, and they say "Well, I'm not so sure, I don't know." And I said, "Well, would you accept one if you needed one?" "Well, yeah, sure." And I say "Well, there you go - where do you get them from?".
Can life be defined? Well, how would you go about it? Well, of course, you'd go to Encyclopedia Britannica and open at L. No, of course you don't do that; you put it somewhere in Google. And then you might get something.
Some might say that sunshine follows thunderGo and tell it to the man who cannot shineSome might say that we should never ponderOn our thoughts today cos they will sway over timeSome might say they don't believe in heaven Go and tell it to the man who lives in hellSome might say you get what you've been givenIf you don't get yours I won't get mine as well
If I'm going to do something, I might as well go for it.
When things aren't going well, I complain a lot and get depressed. I whine and I eat and I go to sleep. I do all kinds of things. And if I'm smart, I'll go and clean out a drawer or a closet or go and pay my bills. I do get myself into situations where I'm not happy with what's going on. But you just have to wait it out and have faith that that dry well will fill up again.
I have two homes, like someone who leaves their hometown and/or parents and then establishes a life elsewhere. They might say that they're going home when they return to see old friends or parents, but then they go home as well when they go to where they live now. Sarajevo is home, Chicago is home.
I figure if you're going to go to class, you might as well make an A.
The very best approach to medicine is, "Well, I see your physical body is sick, what's been bothering you? What are you worried about? What are you angry about? What are you frustrated about?" Because that is what is at the root of all of this. And then say, "Let it go, let it go, let it go." That's the message, and if they could hear you and do that, then they would all be well right away.
If your going to have delusions, you might as well go for the really satisfying ones.
I'm not going to Russia and tell them to go to hell and think - that's not the way things are done. You chip away at something and you hope that there will be dialogue and that the situation can get better. You don't just go in there with guns blazing and say well, to hell with you because they're going to say to hell with you and get out of the country.
All over this country you have progressive communities like Madison and Burlington, but we've got to go well, well, well outside of those communities. We've got to go to the rural areas. We've got to go where a lot of working people are voting Republican.
I don't know why I go to school unless for kicks, oh well might as well do dissect a frog.
The best players I've coached make really hard things look easy. Like you may say, well, that was easy, and then, well, go try it. You think it's so easy, go ahead and do it.
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