A Quote by George Carlin

If you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church. — © George Carlin
If you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church.
Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else.
There's always been a religious strain in me. I can't get rid of it. I don't want to get rid of it. I'm not involved in a church, but I understand that impulse to believe in something that's never going to betray you.
A man can counterfeit love, he can counterfeit faith, he can counterfeit hope and all the other graces, but it is very difficult to counterfeit humility.
When I was seven, I decided to buy all my friends some ice cream, but the problem was where to get the money. Sneaking into church, I went to the side of the altar where you can light a candle for your loved ones and took the money from the collection boxes.
Church tax exemption means that we all drop our money in the collection boxes, whether we go to church or not and whether we are interested in the church or not. It is systematic and complete robbery, from which none of us escapes.
I'm not a things person. I'm not one to keep much. I do have a small collection of picks from favorite musicians I got to play with, a collection of mementos. I'm kind of the opposite of a hoarder, as I try to get rid of everything.
Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men.
I'm in the game of spinning plates. I'm spinning a boxing plate. I'm spinning a Tae Kwon Do plate. I'm spinning a Jujitsu plate. I'm spinning a freestyle wrestling plate. I'm spinning a karate plate. If I was to put all them down and have one boxing plate spinning, it would be like a load off my shoulders.
I want to see the church get closer to the people. I want to get rid of clericalism, the mundane, this closing ourselves off within ourselves, in our parishes, schools or structures. Because these need to get out!
Why get rid of Chamberlain to put in Halifax? It's like getting rid of the organ-grinder to put in the monkey.
People give me money and I don't know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
You know, money will never save anyone. Compassion can save someone, love can save someone, money will never save anyone. And as long as the entire society will put money first... Money should be like third or fourth or fifth, I'm not saying lets get rid of money, but how can we put money as number one? As the only value, like if you are rich, you're famous you go VIP, why? It's just insane, the way we've transformed the society.
When you get in this profession, you want the coaches to put more on your plate.
Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you. . . . I want to marry you. . . . I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
There is a growing subculture of barefoot runners, people who got rid of their shoes. And what they have found uniformly is you get rid of the shoes, you get rid of the stress, you get rid of the injuries and the ailments.
If we want to save some money, let's just get rid of the court.
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