A Quote by Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Groucho Marx

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Groucho Marx
American - Comedian
October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone!

Rodney Dangerfield

I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.

Eugene Mirman

Everyone, young and old, was responding to [Frank] Sinatra. So, the first time that I physically remember, it was as a youth. He always seemed to be there, let me put it that way. I can't remember the exact first time, but I can remember the effect his voice had on me.

Robert Davi

I used to prefer cash but I'm more and more drawn to cards because with certain cards you get the full lists which you can then pass on to your accountant so you don't have to do the whole receipt, receipt, receipt thing as it's all itemised.

Lemar

I've had the opportunity to wrestle Daniel Bryan through several phases of his career, except for his time in WWE. What I remember is that he was great the first time I wrestled him, and he kept getting better every match afterward.

Samoa Joe

I didn't really know what I was until I came to America and I had sex [for the first time] in San Francisco in 1970. It was with someone of my own sex.

Elton John

I mean, you can't have sex until you're married if you're Mormon. The first time I had sex, my parents found out. They were listening in on the phone while I was talking about sex to my girlfriend. They freaked out, man. They both cornered me in my bedroom.

Bert McCracken

You can't remember sex. You can remember the fact of it, and recall the setting, and even the details, but the sex of the sex cannot be remembered, the substantive truth of it, it is by nature self-erasing, you can remember its anatomy and be left with a judgment as to the degree of your liking of it, but whatever it is as a splurge of being, as a loss, as a charge of the conviction of love stopping your heart like your execution, there is no memory of it in the brain, only the deduction that it happened and that time passed, leaving you with a silhouette that you want to fill in again.

E. L. Doctorow

I didn't come from a wealthy family. I had no money. Maybe it goes back to naivete which is your greatest asset when you're young. If I was starting in comedy today and if it didn't work the first time, I'd probably quit. But I kept at it, kept at it.

Steve Martin

If you had a daily printout from the brain of an average twenty-four-year-old male, it would probably go like this: sex, need coffee, sex, traffic, sex, sex, what an asshole, sex, ham sandwich, sex, sex, etc

Kate White

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

Jeff Foxworthy

In your thirties, you're much more comfortable with sex. First of all, sex is something you've done more. You know you can have sex just to have sex; you can have sex with friends; you can have sex with people you love; you can have sex with people you don't like, but the sex is good. And you can joke about sex much more.

Julie Delpy

I was around 15 when I first wanted to compete in an Olympics. I even remember the first time I got to wear a GB kit as a junior. I've even kept it. It's in my mum's loft somewhere, probably gone mouldy by now.

Jessica Ennis-Hill

If somebody says, 'Do you remember the first time you heard a Rolling Stones song?' if you say you do, you're crazy. You've just always heard them. You might remember the first time it impacted you, but the first time you heard one, you were in a cradle.

Brad Paisley

My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.

Roseanne Barr

I had to lie so much about sex, first when I was 15, because I wasn't supposed to be having it. And then when I got older, I lied to everybody I was having sex with, so I could have sex with other people.

Cybill Shepherd

A Quote by Groucho Marx

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