A Quote by Hannibal Buress

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself.

Hannibal Buress

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Because Believe I Believe I Believe In I Believe In Myself Lap Myself Napkin Never Restaurant Use

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Hannibal Buress
American - Comedian
Born: February 4, 1983

Whenever I eat at a restaurant I never put the napkin in my lap. People say, 'Hannibal, why don't you put the napkin in your lap?' Because I believe in myself. I believe in my ability to not spill food in my pants 'cause I'm a goddamn adult. And I've mastered the art of getting food from my plate to my mouth without messing up my jeans. You need to believe in yourself, too and get your life together, that's for babies. Have some confidence in your eating abilities and hand/eye coordination.

Hannibal Buress

There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there.

Daniel Handler

Don't touch my napkin. I do not want the server to pick up the napkin and put it on my lap. I know it belongs there; maybe I don't choose to put it there.

Tom Colicchio

Imagine censors that wouldn't let you sit in a man's lap. I've been in more laps than a napkin!

Mae West

I want to show you something,” I say. What?” He dabs at his lips with the napkin, and for a moment I’m wishing so hard that I am that napkin that I can almost feel myself changing, becoming thin and papery and white. “Cal?” I sit back and feel myself blushing, feel it from the tips of my toes all the way to the heat at the backs of my ears.

Brad Barkley

The censors wouldn't even let me sit on a guy's lap, and I've been on more laps than a table-napkin.

Mae West

It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

Carlos Mencia

My fiance likes drawing on napkins, which I save. I'm always scared I'll get caught taking a linen napkin from a restaurant!

Lake Bell

I don't want to be on the other side of the table from the customer. I was never selling anything that I didn't believe in myself or use myself.

Warren Buffett

I find that a shirt is most similar to a napkin when I don't have a napkin.

Demetri Martin

Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap.

Liv Ullmann

If you want to be a poet, you can just write it on a napkin, and it's the length of the napkin, I guess. But usually you decide you'll rhyme it, or you'll have a formula. In radio, that's something called, 'Close your eyes and listen.'

Robert Krulwich

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Alfred North Whitehead

I've never let myself give up, because I believe in myself. I want to get stronger than I have ever been, and I will continue to tell myself that I can do it, no matter what the odds.

Hrithik Roshan

I'm on Facebook and the Internet EVERY DAY NUMEROUS TIMES A DAY.Sorry about the shouting but I can't help myself. My mother said her dog (a lapdog) never sits on my lap because I always have the laptop on it.

Franny Armstrong

The only test of possession is use. The talent that is buried is not owned. The napkin and the hole in the ground are far more truly the man's property, because they are accomplishing something for him, slothful and shameful though it be. And what is a lost soul? Is it not one that God cannot use, or one that cannot use God? Trustless, prayerless, fruitless, loveless--is it not so far lost? So may a man have a soul that is lost and be dead while he lives.

Maltbie Davenport Babcock

A Quote by Hannibal Buress

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