A Quote by Hari Nef
I think that just because I'm trans, and I feel like I have to prove to people that I'm a woman sometimes, I'm never going to sacrifice my vision of femininity to make it clearer for other people. Even if it sometimes gets cloudy.
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There's this belief sometimes from people who haven't lived the trans experience that's just like, 'You should tell everyone. You owe it to them.' But the truth is, you don't know how people are going to respond. And many people don't even have the language to talk about what their trans experience is, or what it could be.
Breakthrough ideas look crazy, nuts. It’s hard to think this way — I see it in other people’s body language, and I can feel it in my own, where I sometimes feel like I don’t even care if it’s going to work, I can’t take more change. O.K., Google, O.K., Twitter—but Airbnb? People staying in each other’s houses without there being a lot of axe murders?
I think people sometimes get the wrong impression when they're like, Oh, well, so-and-so was straight and then she was gay, and now she's straight again, you know? But it's like, how many times do I have to kiss a woman before I'm gay? Everybody wants to label people. Sometimes you just fall in love with somebody, and you're really not thinking about what gender or whatever they happen to be. It think that if I happen to fall in love with a woman, everyone's going to make a big deal out of it. But if I happen to fall in love with a man, nobody cares.
As I got older, I had to learn to not have people speak for me. It was the first time I recognized, 'Oh, sometimes people are going to condescend to me because I'm a woman, or sometimes people aren't going to give me opportunities because of the way I look.'
There's always going to be people who will criticize my performance. Sometimes, it gets irritating. Sometimes I just brush it off and say these people don't know what they are talking about.
It's just hard to look at yourself and guess how you're going to be perceived by other people sometimes. I do my best to let people know that I'm approachable, but I'm a human being just like anybody else. Sometimes people forget that. They forget that you're a person and they treat you like this celebrity thing. But I have to be patient with that, and I try to be.
I just don't feel that we've traveled very far in the realm of social equality. There just seems to be a little bit of unrest. And sometimes I think that happens when you really feel like something's about to change. Right before the moment of lift off, sometimes things feel a little bit unhinged, and that's what it feels like to me right now, both as a woman and just as a human on the planet as an American woman in America. I feel like we're on the precipice of change. I feel a little nervous.
You find there's no magic trick, sometimes in the shower, sometimes you're just lying in bed calm, sometimes you're just enjoying life and just have a notepad, it's never far away. Always have a notepad on you, because you never know what's going to happen, take a moment and write it down the minute that comes in your head. Even if you can't deal with it until later, I've had that experience where I was in a wedding party and I'm on stage, I'm like, "I hope I don't forget this, something just occurred to me."
Sometimes you're a psychiatrist and sometimes you're a group therapist. The dynamics in between people and the misgivings sometimes that artists have when they get into the studio because they're under a different level of scrutiny. A lot of them can be insecure about it. My job is not simply to make musical determinations but sometimes to just keep people from flipping out during the process.
The best players in the league: LeBron, Carmelo, KD, Westbrook, people will say that they suck. People are always going to say something, so you really can't buy into all of that. And that's why I try to sometimes deviate from social media because - not that it gets to me, but sometimes it's all just wasted energy.
Sometimes people confuse contrivance and authenticity, and sometimes I think authenticity can get in the way of a good excuse to do something theatrical. I just don't like wasting opportunity - if you're going to do a photo session, if you're going to walk on stage, why not make it interesting?
I think it's become such a part of younger people's daily life to have the instant access to each other that it sometimes gets a little presumptuous. People feel like it's OK, for example, to email you with some weird personal criticism they have.
Other people will call me a rebel, but I just feel like I'm living my life and doing what I want to do. Sometimes people call that rebellion, especially when you're a woman.
I think music can define our lives. It's interesting when we meet our heroes; sometimes they really let us down, and sometimes we realize that they're just other human beings like us, with the same drama and fears and everything else going into their lives. I've worked with lots of people at different stages of their careers - going up, going down. Some people I've worked with I would never want to work with again, and some people would probably say they never want to work with me again. But all in all, it was definitely cool.
I like to mix it up, so sometimes I train with my personal trainer, sometimes I take classes because I feel like my body gets very used to it if I just do the same thing all the time.
Being in relationship is not living in a fantasyland and don`t think that everything's going to be perfect all the time. You will go through phases where you're just not getting along. You're not communicating well. That's going to happen, and it's going to feel impossible to you sometimes. It might not even make sense to you sometimes. Arguments are normal. You have to be patient and sit through that and remember that this is a part of human communication and interaction. You're going to have these conflicts with anyone. It's not necessarily just that person.
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