A Quote by Harry Shum, Jr.
It was a big step, to go from not talking to people to stepping on to a stage. That's when I felt the most comfortable, because I could do anything I wanted to and say anything I wanted to, even if people didn't laugh.
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I felt voiceless for so long, I wasn't ever able to say what I felt out loud. I didn't know how to say it. Posting online presented itself as a comfortable medium. I could say what I wanted to say in a way I still felt comfortable. Whenever, however I wanted to.
I will say they were horrified when I wanted to be an actor. It wasn't a showbiz-y family, and my parents are real introverts who don't go to a lot of Hollywood parties and are most comfortable in their pajamas in our sweet little home. Part of the reason I wanted to be an actor and not just a writer is because I felt much more extroverted than that - I love to be around people, and feed off people's energy, and collaborations. If I hadn't had their example, I wouldn't have been so serious, but I also wouldn't have wanted so much to find another creative outlet.
Before I transitioned, I felt like I could walk on stage and just, like, say anything and people would just laugh. And that's kind of a privilege that I just lost through the layers of social context and me being visibly a political object in a lot of people's brains.
If we were to go back in time 100 years and ask a farmer what he'd like if he could have anything, he'd probably say he wanted a horse that was twice as strong and ate half as many oats. He would not say he wanted a tractor. The point is, technology changes things so fast that many people aren't sure what the best solutions to their problems might be.
I wanted to be a part of charities when I saw people doing all the charity stuff in WWE. I wanted to be a part of that but because I was a heel, I couldn't, so it felt like I wasn't doing anything.
I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were born into. And so I wanted to be a veterinarian or an architect. I wanted to be in a band, and for some reason I could understand how you could be in a band because I had guitars and all my friends played music. Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.
I discovered very early on that if you wanted a thing, you went for it - and you got it. Most people never go anywhere, or want anything - so they never get anything.
I would say a magical thing happened on when the big 40th birthday came. I felt like a light kind of just went off, and maybe that's because I felt like at 40 I had the right to say and be who I wanted to be, say what I wanted to say, and accept what I didn't want to accept.
When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.
I was always lonesome. The only time I felt accepted or wanted was when I was on stage performing. I guess the stage was my only friend: the only place where I could feel comfortable. It was the only place where I felt equal and safe.
I've felt very comfortable on stage and love making people laugh. It's that kind of addictive thing where you get a laugh and you just want more.
I got into the weights because I didn't want anybody messing with me. I wanted people to say, 'Oh, he's so big, I don't want to mess with him.' And second of all, I wanted to be great at football. I wanted to be the baddest dude around because I knew what it was like to not be.
If someone else was in the room, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing what I wanted to do. I would try to play something that the other person or people would love or would like, at least. Nothing was true because I was not playing what I wanted, and they were not listening to anything that was coming from anywhere true.
I knew I could do anything I wanted to do and go anywhere I wanted to go and not have to worry if I could afford it.
Well it was a lot fun with John Boy and stuff, but I always knew that I wanted to be on the front of the stage even when I was playing drums. I don't have anything against John Boy, I just wanted to be on the front of the stage.
The language was not a big problem because my English was getting better every year. So, I really felt comfortable and I had trust in myself, you know, talking to people. Even though I know I was making mistakes, I still kept talking. So that's how I learned English.
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