A Quote by Heidi Julavits
Some people just make me feel mentally endangered. Whatever dark stuff is going on in their head, it's coming at me and I need to escape.
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I feel like a lot of the stuff coming out right now just feels really inauthentic to me. But apparently, people don't seem to see through it. And this makes me sound bitter, but it's just my perspective. I'm not bitter. I just feel like there's a lot of stuff that doesn't feel like it's coming from a place of any sort of integrity. It just doesn't feel like it's coming from the heart, basically. It just feels like it's being produced because people know it's a formula that will work, or it's easily digestible and fun to look at.
Some people think 'Higher' is about literally getting high, and other people think it's more in a spiritual sense. To me, it's all that. To me, it was like I need to escape from this down state - emotionally, spiritually, mentally, everything. I want to be above this. Wherever we are now. I need to go up.
In the future, I just think that as far as when it comes to me and my music, I'm trying to help be the catalyst for whatever is going to inspire more people and keep a great creative community going. Whatever I can do to make everyone's records better, not just my own, just hopefully keep the whole flow of stuff going in a good direction. That's what I'll be doing, so look forward to whatever I'm involved with it and hopefully I can inspire the next generation.
Different things make me feel sexy. Sometimes it's just a manicure or when I buy some new underwear or just receiving a compliment from a guy on the street. But I think to feel sexy, you just need the right person next to you, who's going to complete you and make you feel even sexier.
My head was - I wasn't screwed up, but I feel like I was shifted away from my family a lot with this basketball stuff. You have people coming around you saying they are family or whatever. They try to keep you away from your real family. That kind of got me.
Some people are born for a certain thing. And for me, unfortunately, I wish it was something a bit more artistic or whatever, but I was a born fighter. That's what kept me coming back. It makes me feel alive. And, I just know, there is nothing I do better in this world than fight.
I feel a certain amount of freedom just cruising to the liquor store to get water or whatever. It just feels good. It makes me feel young getting on the bike and - again, not going crazy, I do bunny-hops and I'll hit some curbs and stuff - but just feeling like a kid again.
Dane was shaking his head firmly. "Don't bring it here, Ella. No babies." I gave him a dark look. "What if it were a baby polar bear or a baby Galapagos penguin? I bet you'd want it then." "I'd make an exception for endangered species," he allowed. "This baby is endangered. It's with my mother.
I've been going through a lot of... stuff. I need some space, which people were very kind enough to give me, and I feel really gracious about that. Nobody forces me to do things or say things or do interviews.
That's what you do when you have a really strict family and you rebel - you just go do whatever you can that would make their skin crawl. I wanted all the sexiest stuff I could find, and that was a very empowering moment for me, to use my money that I earned and buy things that no one else might see me wear - but I was going to wear them and feel powerful.
I used to write as an escape. There's no escape. There's just me sending my voice into the dark, waiting for an echo.
I think people just feel me. Whenever they listen to the music, it's just coming out. I think you can hear what I put into it. A lot of it is God. You can use stuff to where you want it. Like I pray to God, and I asked for direction early on, and he gave me so much. It's like rappers and soul singers is taking to me. That's both sides of me.
My days are whatever I want them to be. I don't have to go worry about chasing some chemical to make me feel OK for a minute, and then make me feel worse.
Ang Lee just allowed me to make what we would call mistakes and had no judgment of them. He also empowered me. You know, he's like, "You're my actor. I chose you. Whatever you do is right." Right? "I made the decision, I'm complicit in choosing you. And I went through everything I could to choose you, so I feel good and whatever you're going to do I'm going to give you this space." And so it was very empowering.
You meet people who are great to hang with, and you just want to make stuff. So, you just make stuff. I never would have seen that coming. I guess at this point, I can't say that I'm really picky about it. If someone wants to work with me, I'm psyched. As far as who I might call, I don't know. I've never thought about it. Maybe I don't feel like I'm able to ask. That hasn't crossed my mind. I'm that girl who waits to be invited to the dance. I'm not doing any inviting myself, if that makes any sense.
The Democrats talked about putting people first. Well, they put people first unless you happen to be a spotted owl or a giant garter snake or some other endangered species and then that seems to have priority. Obviously, you take the bald eagle and things of that sort, of course you're going to make sure that they are saved and that they can live and you're going to take every precaution that you can. But others - we just need a little flexibility.
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