A Quote by Helen Fielding
Tom has a theory that homosexuals and single women in their thirties have natural bonding: both being accustomed to disappointing their parents and being treated as freaks by society.
Related Quotes
Because the enormous narcissism of their parents deprived Will and Tom of suitable role models, both brothers learned to identify with absence. Consequently, even if something beneficial fortuitously entered their lives they immediately treated it as temporary. By the time they were teenagers they were already accustomed to a discontinuous lifestyle marked by constant threats of abandonment and the lack of any emotional stability. Unfortunately, "accustomed to" here is really synonymous with "damaged by.
We're both accustomed to being the center of attention. We're both accustomed to being spoiled by the people around us. And we don't expect to have to compete with somebody for all of that.
Things are not going to change until Indian women, and their parents, stop being afraid of what society will say. This is the single biggest obstacle. The fear of what people will say and how this will shame their parents means that women are paralysed.
Freaks are called freaks and are treated as they are treated – in the main, abominably – because they are human beings who cause to echo, deep within us, our most profound terrors and desires.
The bonding of women that is woman-loving, or Gyn/affection, is very different from male bonding. Male bonding has been the glue of male dominance. It has been based upon recognition of the difference men see between themselves and women, and is a form of the behaviour, masculinity, that creates and maintains male power… Male comradeship/bonding depends upon energy drained from women.
I think there's a part of society that is very for women being confident and being empowered, but I think there's another part of society that feels very threatened by women being powerful. Because of the feminist movement, a lot of women are feeling way more empowered to be themselves and do what they want to do in life.
Ever since Freud, being alone has been considered something of a psychological failure. The point, according to Freudian theory, is to be able to love and connect. But I don't believe that at all. I think that being alone and being coupled and being in a group are all natural states in which people can thrive.
I was brought up in a family which valued natural history. Both my parents knew the names of all the British wildflowers, so as we went walking the country, I was constantly being exposed to a natural history sort of knowledge.
Women have a faith in themselves that is unpragmatic and in each other that's just emotional and f - ing strong. Both of those characters are criticized for being weak, for being subject to a man, but I think that that's a really bold and natural thing that we all want.
If women want to be treated equally, then they can't ask for sops and whine about not being treated equally. All I'll say is no guts, no glory for men or women.
My parents were 30 years older than I was, and my parents had my brother and I ten years apart. My parents grew up in segregation, and they both lived in all-black neighborhoods and grew up with large black families. I didn't have any of that, and I didn't understand feeling so differently and being treated so differently.
There is nothing that compares to the bonding between parent and child in that first year of life. Study after study shows how both parents being involved in the early weeks and months of a child's life is good for the child's development.
Not only my parents but the whole family was involved in the resistance - my grandfather and grandmother, my uncles and aunts, my cousings of both sexes. So ever so often the police came and took them away, indiscriminately. Well, the fact that they arrested both my father and mother, both my grandfather and grandmother, both an uncle and an aunt, made me accustomed to looking on men and women with the same eyes, on an absolute plane of equality.
It was a natural path for me, being an artist. Both my parents were artists. I was surrounded by it and I instinctively was drawn toward it, and received a lot of encouragement.
Is being single hard? It depends where your mind is. If you are focused, being single is an enjoyable experience, but if you hate being alone, you'll hate being single. I think it depends on the individual are where they are in life.
I have a theory about American men -- I think they think women are boys who don't know how to throw a ball very well. American women are forced into the role of being men without penises, of being men who haven't quite been able to make it. If women don't want to be pussycats, then they get forced into the role of being almost as good as men. Which is lousy.
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