A Quote by Henny Youngman
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did
Related Quotes
I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.
My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!
The thief, as will become apparent, was a special type of thief. This thief was an artist of theft. Other thieves merely stole everything that was not nailed down, but this thief stole the nails as well.
I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
Turn down offers for new cards or credit line increases on your current cards. Credit's tight, and chances are, you're not getting many offers anyway. But if you do, remember that the less credit you have available, the less trouble you can get into.
If you want to spend more money in restaurants, use credit cards more than cash. If you want to spend less, use cash more than credit cards. But in general, we can think about how to use the pain of paying and how much of it do we want. And I think we have like a range. Credit cards have very little pain of paying, debit cards have a little bit more because you feel like today, at least it is coming out of your checking account, and cash has much more.
Whoever stole it is spending less money than my wife.
Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta get your finances together. You got no cash, your credit cards are maxed out. You don't even have minutes on your calling card. I had to use my card to call you.'
The world is a puzzling place today. All these banks sending us credit cards, with our names on them. Well, we didn't order any credit cards! We don't spend what we don't have. So we just cut them in half and throw them out, just as soon as we open them in the mail. Imagine a bank sending credit cards to two ladies over a hundred years old! What are those folks thinking?
When a man spends his own money to buy something for himself, he is very careful about how much he spends and how he spends it. When a man spends his own money to buy something for someone else, he is still very careful about how much he spends, but somewhat less what he spends it on. When a man spends someone else's money to buy something for himself, he is very careful about what he buys, but doesn't care at all how much he spends. And when a man spends someone else's money on someone else, he does't care how much he spends or what he spends it on. And that's government for you.
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
I never use debit cards. I only use credit cards. This way, if someone does get my account number... and charges $1 million, by federal law, my liability is zero.
One of the cool things, obviously there's 'Scandal,' 'House of Cards,' there was 'West Wing.' Other than that Jack Lemmon/James Garner movie about ex-presidents, no one's ever done anything in this area, whereas a lot of times, we do a story where someone goes, "Oh, yeah, they did someone sleeping with a Secret Service agent on 'House of Cards.'"
There are lots of families who - who make irresponsible purchases. There are also a lot of families who have debt on credit cards because they use those credit cards to pay for medical bills.
During the struggles, the one thing I remember was the continued support from my wife. I was running up phone bills and did all kinds of things to begin the process. When times were bad we bought food with credit cards. We had bill collectors calling. We maneuvered through this together.
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